As a non cancer person (at least up to now!) I thought I'd write something about a very good friend of mine who I learnt this morning has lost her struggle against cancer.
Linda MacVev is a lovely lady and I count it very much a privelage to know her, even though she lost her battle last month she is and always will be a 'present-tense' person because she is in my memory and always will be.
I cried so hard for her this morning again, and it made me think of the one's riding the bus alongside the person with cancer, either family / friend / colleague / carer or in whatever capacity they are known.
I am lucky to know you Linda, even though we only met a few times we made friends instantly and I am so proud of you in the struggles that you had that you still kept smiling right it would seem up to the end.
For me 'riding the bus' with you was hard, I felt every jolt bump brake action and acceleration even though I never said, I never would, but you knew I was thinking of you and was in a sense riding with you, hence the term riding the bus.
This should in no way be seen as a self depracating self pitying blog full of guilt and remorse over actions taken / not taken when Linda was vibrantly alive, it's just some thoughts that even though we may not always SAY what we are feeling nontheless we are feeling them just the same.
I've sat here this morning and my thoughts are clearly with Linda and especially Jenni her daughter, and I want to somehow through this totally incomprehensible waffle assure / reassure everyone that there are many others like me thinking of everyone on the bus, riding the road that is so very hard, full of uphill's and down dale's, and am certain on occasion thinking that no-one else is with you and on a solitary journey.
You're not. Believe me, you're not.
Through this medium of internet and electronic wizardry you have so much love support and strength coming your way, just as clearly as you Linda had when you started your blog. So many responded in your like manner, positively and effectively. The support you felt then was clearly evident and surely has to be seen as a huge positive to others suffering similarly, everyone riding the bus get's strength in whatever way from just knowing that someone does care, someone does support you, even though you may not see them or know anything about them.
Ride the bus? I never wanted to get on the damn thing but once you did Linda I was happy to sit and ride it with you. We'll never ever get off it now, because the bus is a continuum of you Linda, and riding the bus as we do there are new passengers all the time. Help and love and support is there for every passenger, provided for the passenger, by the passenger.
Linda you are as I started this blog such a terrific lady. I miss you on the seat next to me.
