What a Shock!

Hi

You are in the right place to share your worries and get support... everyone here is touched by cancer in some way... my Dad passed away on 14 April and without the support on here I would have possibly gone crazy!!

We had lots of waiting, for test results, appointments and then for treatment to start... then again for results of treatment... so I can't make the waiting not happen... what we did was plan good things in our diaries that were to be looked forwards to... it sort of balances out the appointments and result dates... it might help?

Also, when the doctors tell you what tests or results you are waiting for... write them down and the time it takes to get results - then if you don't have any contact on that date, ring them up and ask for information... we did this with my Dad and his appointments were brought forwards or good news was shared over the phone.

Your wife is doing what she feels is right for her at the moment, she will be wanting to keep you all safe and well... it is a wife / mother thing. She will at some point have wobbles and your role will be to listen and love when she does... there is no right or wrong thing to do, both of you will just need to trust that you have all that you need to get this journey on its way and a treatment plan in place...

As for your adult children, they too will react in the way that is right for them, my sister is very hands on and is staying with my mum right now, I am at my home and popping in as and when... people just have to do what is right for them... again they will have wobbles and being there is important. If you ask how they feel they will say ok... maybe ask whats on your mind might get a different response... we are used to answering are you ok, with yes thankyou... wheras what's on your mind can lead to a conversation...

Hope some of this helps... Julia

hi ray as julie says you have come to the right place for all the support this is a wonderful site i have met through macmillan so many lovely people always there 24/7 to answer questions and just to listen to your ranting share your news and your woes and believe me there are plenty of everything when cancer appears in your world without this site i would have been so alone and more scared than ever being positive along the way does help and attitude to cancer does help as in how dare it invade my family determination and strength is to the fore and im sure you will be there every step of the way along the journey because thats what it is a journey we are all here for you and your wife take care

love and hugs jen xxxx

Hi Ray,

Im very sorry to hear about your wife. Wait until they have done all the Tests and you get the results

back you will know more about your wifes condition.

All the best and good luck.

Take care andbe safe Sarsfield.

Hi Ray

My wife was dignosed with bowel cancer with secondaries in January  and the waiting ofrhte results is awful--we found that for a month that every interaction with a healthcare professional for a month brought more bad news--she has now just completed her first course of chemo and radiotherapy and starts her second course of chemo tomorrow---If there is one thing I could share with you at this point is--write down your questions so that when you are in woth the oncologist or surgeon you can read them--they sometimes will give you a list of treatments with out allowing you time to let the options sink in---once you have answers to your satisfaction then do your research on a reputable site like Mcmillan--do not surf the internet as it is unlicencesd and full of scare stories

Take heart---your support will be essential in this and you need ot look after yourself--and remember we are all here to help

Hi Ray so sorry to hear your problems. Yes it is one of the worst things that can happen..Funnily enough you do learn to live with it. Yes it does become part of your life.So do take it day by day at the moment.the trouble is you worry about your Wife and she worries about you,I feel guilty that I have cancer funnily enough. I do think that that seems to be the way it is. The carers seem to be worse, than the patients. I am sorry and do wish you all the very best.Do keep in touch with MacMillan it is such a brilliant group. It helps to save lives in more ways than one.   Kessie