Well today was what Macmillan call a good day. We needed to make a call to the hospital to get last weeks AFP count and make some changes to next appointment but last night we were both so scared of these results that we said we would wait until the appointment next week. Well I could not get any sleep, restless at the best of times but I found myself in a very long conversation with God, the usual things, asking for just a little bit more from 'Him', saying I know that hubby has been lucky over the years but could he just have a little bit more luck. Many of you will know what I mean.
Well the morning was suddenly upon us and it was then that I fell into what I would describe as a light disturbed sleep but eventually I dragged myself out of bed and thought well I still need to make the changes to hubbys appointment so I best phone.
The docs receptionist answered straight away, and after all these years she now knows my voice and knows what we are usually calling for but today I say to her that I am not sure we want to know the results and that I just want to change the times of appointment, I hear tapping in the background and then she asks if I really don't want to know. I tell her that I am scared because they had stayed the same even after the last cycle of chemo which finished four weeks ago and we are worried it will have started to go back up. No, she tells me it has gone down. Yipee!!! That means that it had gone down before he was given the new chemo on Friday. Well that is probably the best news we have heard in such a long time.
I am not stupid and know that it can change back the other way but the Doc had said on Friday that although he wished it had gone down he did not think it would, he thought it would rise so this is such good news. Maybe someone heard me after all last night.
So heres hoping that tomorrow maybe we will be able to motivate ourselves into doing something other than just being depressed.
Yipee again!!!!
Ray x
