Stop hitting the bottle!

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

8 Jun 2011

Recently, due to stress and my inability to cope with it healthily...I have been hitting the bottle a tad too much. Thursday night I can't even remember calling my fella...the one bright point in my life right now...and giving him a load of grief. It's affecting my health, my job, my relationship.

I know I need to stop drinking but I'm so lonely and depressed. I'm moving back to the parents place tonight which will hopefully help, and am going to see me doc. I'm just spiralling downwards really quickly and everything feels out of control.

I'm consumed with guilt. Guilt that I haven't been helping out at parents/seeing my Dad more. Guilt that I'm not coping with this very well. Guilt that I'm not being a very good girlfriend. Guilt that I'm not being a very good colleague. This is not good because I get thoughts of self harm and do this whole self-hate thing.

I'm consumed with anger. Anger that my Dad is being taken away from me slowly and painfully. Anger that I'm not coping better. Anger that nobody around me can understand how I feel. Anger at myself that I'm not able to tell people how I feel. Anger that I don't really understand how I feel. This is not good because I am up and down like a yo-yo and it makes it not very nice to be around me.

I don't know whether to go back on antidepressants, to cut off my social life (thereby cutting off alcohol), to go to counselling...I just don't know where the help I need/want is. I just need help.

FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Hev87

I'm so sorry to read your blog and hear that you're having such a tough time. Like you say, you're struggling to cope and feel alone. I can understand your frustrations, as you must be feeling overwhelmed with it all, and trying to put on a facade of being 'normal', especially in front of your parents.

I'm no expert, but when I go to the Doctors or the Hospital, there always seems to be posters up about support. Have you looked in the front of the yellow pages? They usually list freecall numbers, and you can talk to people anonymously. I would go to your GP again, and perhaps even shoe them your blog so they can see how much pain you are in at the moment. They may refer you to counselling etc. Do you have a colleague or manager you could talk to in confidence? I'm sure your boyfriend will understand your situation at the moment, and not take things to heart.

I hope you manage to get things sorted out soon. Good luck with it all, and take care.

Scoobysnax :0)
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Hev87,

I'm so sorry to hear you're not doing so well at the moment. I recommend you call our support line on 0808 808 0000 where someone will be able to signpost you to the best support and information for you. Calls are free, and lines are open weekdays 9am - 8pm.

I hope this helps, and please don't feel that you're alone.

Best,

Rebecca.
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Hev87,

You are never alone on this site there are a lot of people

on here only too willing to help. We Listen,try to understand. If you want to talk, cry shout, roar and scream we have all been there,and we will be here at anytime for you. So dont think for one minute that no one cares Because on here we all do, for you and for eachother.

Look after yourself.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx
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KateG over 13 years ago

So sorry you are feeling yuk. There are no quick and easy answers but do reach out for any helping hand that's offered.

Best wishes,

KateG
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Thanks all. I'm trying...hopefully will get there someday!
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