Following conversation took place yesterday between me and the GP, during bloods test:
Doc [in slightly disapproving Dr Finlay voice]: The only letters I seem to get about you from the hospital are regarding your next holiday.
Self: OK, take a look at this (points to unsightly and painful lump on wrist) I seem to have been bitten by some evil foreign predator.
Doc: Doesn't look like a bite. Seems to me more like…