I am having a really hard time trying to ingest all of this. I spend alot of time crying and I don't want to do that. If mom has 12-15 months I don't want to spend it being sad. I want to enjoy the time we have left. I just can't seem to rid myself of the empty feeling inside. Maybe once she comes back home it will feel better, I don't know. The only time I'm not sad is when the kids are home and I certainly can't keep them here all day. I do however have a call into my doctor, maybe he can give me something to take the edge off. If that's even possible. She finishes her first round of radiation on the 18th and has to go back on the 27th for her chemo treatment. So she'll be wiped out by the time she comes back home. She's not sure what she wants to do. She says this is a dry run without her here. We will get used to it. I don't want to go through this more than once. She thinks she's doing us a favor, I don't see that. Does that sound crazy? I don't know anymore.
FormerMember
sorry youre having such a hard time and time is what it takes, hopefully you will be able to come to terms with losing your mum but always remember where there is life there is hope, I think we all live with hope. Please try and enjoy your time left, I know it is really hard and there wont be a day without you thinking about it but there will be good times memories to keep and share. Good luck to you Lynne
Or if you don't feel up to it, you can look through brochures, or at maps and arrange a holiday for her and you to see the sea, or the woods or flowing water which has a very good effect of coming between you and your worries. The Forestry Commission cabins at Herodsfoot in Cornwall (near Liskeard) have a sitting room near an old powder mill. I went there intending to read, but when my husband came in an hour later, I had been sitting there looking into space. I had not thought about anything in all that time, and it was so refreshing.
When I was diagnosed a couple of years ago, between the tests and my operation, I went to Llangennith on the Gower Coast for a couple of days. Husband and I (and the dog) lay in the dunes and listened to the tide coming in. A sure remedy for unhappiness and worrry.
