HMMM today I thought I would start my blog, come to think of it I think it might help. Ok so the last 24 hours have been another rollarcoaster ride yet again.
For those wo dont know me or havent read any of my posts (thats one). I am raayne and i have been coping with cancer in the family. My aunt who has been given weeks to live is dying of cancer it began its nasty manifestation in the lung. it has spread and now my aunt is in the last stages of her epic cancer battle.
I found this site when I was at a low ebb and decided it might offer me support, I have considered making a post all day but now I feel like I can commit some words to my bog. I have read some previous blogs on here some are hopeful others make me feel that familiar feeling I feel once to oftten, others make me feel ever hopeful, but of all mine is the most important right now this is my first time of telling the world how I feel , its ok to feel lost and rock bottom. Its ok to cry myself to sleep most nights and its ok to talk to others about my suituation. something i wouldnt have said 3 weeks prior to joining this site. i guess even those who seem to have themost strength eventually end up being carried ( this is where I talk about my partner , my life , my strength and my courage.) I have not been the easiest to live with ask him? . i know I will call upon him increasingly more, and probably this site . well here's my first blog and sitting here i feel relieved to have broken my silence .
God Bless all those who are affected by this and the effects of cancer ......
xoxo Raayne xoxo
FormerMember
Hi Christine ..... Thankyou for your kind thoughts... i am busy indeed hence why i reply late at times i normally get back from the lodge around 8 30ish then have to eat and shower then before i know it its time to go to bed and the day to start again. well aunt didnt look to good tonight she has a nasty bowel infection at the moment, which she is being treat with anti biaotics trouble is they are making her hallucinate and i have spent most of the evening reasuring her she isnt cracking up. working on trying get her to eat and drink more as thats a concern at the moment as she keeps saying whats the point.. not really sure on what to say to her i wish i could tell her off for being so stubborn .... hope your ok and having a nice week?
Hi Raayne, I do sympathise, what do you say to convince someone that they have to eat etc. Also, how do you tell off someone you respect? It's difficult all round!
You will be really tired out right now, but will keep going cos that's what we do isn't it? Don't worry about replying late, you've got enough on your plate right now. Just remember that I am here if you need to talk. Be easy on yourself too, it wouldn't do to be running yourself into the ground. Christine xx
