Getting a grip is hard. I'm trying to get a hold on the present with a dread to the future - never been an optimist!! But finding the waiting period before Mum's op pretty unsettling along with the potential treatments in future. Feel so selfish about these feelings and angry with the whole bloody thing and what my Mum and so many other people have to go through - makes me want to scream. These feelings make it so hard to carry on with my normal routine which however tricky it becomes I will do because it's the only thing apart from supporting my Mum and family that I can do...just want to learn to live with her cancer and this awful uncertainty cos it takes the joy out of living...
P
