Preparing to leave?

Hi Indie - sorry you are going through a tough phase - I often go through phases where I withdraw from my friends and activities while I 're-group' my thoughts - this was especially the case when I was told I was terminal last Feb. I even banned people phoning me and insisted they contact me by text instead and said I woud reply when I felt up to it - thankfully they understood!

We are dealing with such huge issues - comming to terms wiht mortality is not easy to do - we are non of us perfect and there is no right or wrong way to do this. Don't be to hard on yourself hun, you will get trough this phase and move on again, and true friends will understand and step back to allow you some time for thoughts and deliberation. You will make it through, because, as Mums, somehow we have to :o)

Sending big hugs and lots of love Jools xxxxx

Hi Indie, I read your blog and thought  'oh my god' I think just like you are, I used to think my friends have distanced themselves from me, but now I think it is the other way round, and know exactly what yr saying and how you are thinking! I hope you get through this and sending you a big hug! x x

Jilly

indie.....like most of your replies here say... it does seem like one of the stages...as you know i had good news recently and i didnt realise i hadnt been buying clothes etc, now me being a shopaholic i didnt quite realise just how worried my friends and family have been about the fact that i wasnt shopping... till i started shopping the past few weeks.

also i have had the house decorated... is that strange... i suppose not for people in our position.. but although the outside seen me getting on with things i was looking at clothes etc and thinking ..whats the point of wasting money on something i`m not going to get to wear... same with the house.

indie mate dont forget.. your still getting treatment...where theres life theres hope... this time last year i was already 3 months past my sell by date... didnt think i would see christmas... the doctors are just as shocked as me how well i am doing... you can shock them too ... if anyone can your the girl to do it.

liz xxxxx

Cancer not only invades our bodies, it

invades our lives.Its a shock to be told

you have cancer, but then you have to

endure another poison being invaded into your body to kill the poison that

invaded it in the first place.Then maybe

after putting your body thru this invasive

treatment you are told it hasn,t worked

and you are Terminal.Indie the word

BRAVE is not a word people fighting

cancer likes to hear because you have no choice , you have to do what you

have to do because you want to live.

But like it or not you have to me and

many others been very BRAVE, you

have taken everything that was thrown

at you , and all thru your treatment you

have kept your sense of humour,did

your own thing , going to your watch

your favorite bands, and you have come

on here to support so many people that

are facing what you had to face.

But now you feel you just cant do any

more, you have done your best to

make this journey as easy as you could

to cushion those you love so much, and

now you cant face the thought that one

day you will have to say goodbye, i know

that this is a very sad and painful time

for you Indie,  i cant begin to know how

you are coping right now, all i can say

is that what is happening to you pushing

your friends away is a safety valve for

your feelings, but its not doing you any good is it, you need to hold them close as thy need to hold you close, yes you

need your time to cry , to let rip all the

anger fear and sorrow that has been

building up for so long, that you have

pushed deep into yourself so your loved

ones dont have to bear what you are

feeling. Now its time to free yourself,

to show that you can no longer be strong

for others, that you need them to be

strong for you, to be yourself, no holds

bard.You will feel peace within yourself,

and your fight will continue, but quiteley,

because you have love Indie and you

give love, Cancer will never win that from

you.

 With Love Lucylee. XXXX

missed you babe! Try to come back and talk to us , we need you , xxxxx Geoff x xxxx