Post Mastectomy Treatment Blues

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FormerMember

6 Feb 2012

I should be feeling better now, but have a hit a wall. I think the physical and emotional effort to get through the treatment has left me exhausted. I suppose I'll find a way, but my nails/ eyebrows/eyelashes are falling out. I wasn't expecting this at this late stage. My red hair has been replaced by black stubble. My prosthesis keeps sliding over and peeps out of my bra. My eyes are itching and watering. My private parts are itching and sore and to top the lot I fell downstairs and broke my toe.

My sister says "but you're still alive". Yes I know , but I have no energy. Im told I'm doing well. Actually I want to scream "NO I'M NOT" I know its not unusual to feel flat after treatment finishes and I'm trying to get things in perspective. Writing it down has helped me. So thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read this. I'm wittering on about trivia having got through the worst and feel totally self absorbed. I'm not usually like this, but maybe some of you can relate to this.

FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi - I'm so glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. I've had 4 ops in 3 months trying to clear the margins around my breast cancer and finally the last one being a mastectomy and reconstruction 3 weeks ago. I've sailed through feeling confident and positive until now. It could be the effects of tamoxifen I really don't know but I don't feel like ME anymore. It's impossible to explain to others as everyone thinks I'm fine I'm cancer free and I can move on. I'm tired, feel frumpy,sore itchy and very low - totally out of character. I was lucky enough not to have to have chemo (I get the feeling you had it) so I'm better off than a lot - so why do I/ we feel like this?
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi, I can relate totally to both of you too. I had an operation to remove lymph nodes and biopsy on left breast in April, followed by 12 hour operation in May to remove fat and blood vessels from stomach and mastectomy of right breast. Fat was used for reconstruction. I had 4+ months of chemotherapy ending in October and another operation in december to tidy up reconstruction and stomach area. Still got the tattoo to go. I have laughed with my grandson through being bald, been to Egypt on a cruise down the Nile wearing a scarf 99% of the time and yet it's now I feel at my lowest.

Have had to hand in my notice at work, as I cannot see myself being well enough to go back. My back is in bits, arthritis, osteoperi and now i'm getting dizzy spells, hot flushes, constantly tired, cannot drive more than 2 miles down the road and I sit here on my own feeling so low.

We should be so glad we've got a chance, but now the worst is over it feels worst! I don't have a mammogram til May so apprehensive that they haven't got it all (had calcium spots in my left breast) but after all that's happened we should be feeling elated! Glad I'm not alone, hope things improve in the future.
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Thanks to you both. I'm feeling a bit better as having counselling. This has allowed me to rationalise how I am feeling. I'm also taking citalipram and this has also helped. My energy levels have also improved. Like you Judy I was quite upbeat during treatment. I will keep my fingers crossed that you will both begin to feel better soon.
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