My Husband has just been diagnosed with lung cancer which has spread to his spine. Its been a nightmare. he's just had a biopsy so waiting for those results plus waiting for radio therapy to start on his spine a week Monday. Its totaly consumed our lives at the moment. Plus to add to the misery my poor old Dad has been diagnosed with terminal bladder cancer !!
FormerMember
Hi poppyann, oh my what an emotional roller coaster for you and your family. I'm so sorry about your husband and your father's diagnosis. I'm glad you found this site though because there will be lots of us around to be there for you and support you along this journey. You will also find yourself laughing a lot at the humour of so many on here!
Remember to take good care of yourself at this time as your strength will be needed.
Holy Smokes! Above all else it is vital that you take care of yourself! You are going to be run down to the bone, make no mistake...so making sure that you are well fed and rested is absolutely vital. They can't afford to have you getting sick taking care of them. Only do what is necessary and please, let your friends help. They will you know if you let them. It won't be perfect and won't be the way you would have done it perhaps, but it will at least get done.
My prayers are with you. Come back often and get yourself bolstered up! - Lori
Thanks so much for your reply. It is great to get on here and talk to those who know what we are going through. I do try to keep positive but its very hard when your scared eh ? Paul has his 1st lot of radiotherapy on Thursday Thats such a relief cos the worry is that the cancer will get into his spinal column ! So fingers crossed this will not happen.
Its so hard to act normal ( does that sound mad ) Our lives are consumed with the big C word ! Its a long road ahead cos after radio hes got chemo and I'm scared !
We do have a laugh about certain things but I do think both of us want our old lives back and we can't have that ? It like living someone elses life . Did you find that
No you're not mad, we all want our old lives back!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me as troubled or warped as they were we want all of our old problems and tribulations! Puts them all in perspective doesn't it? Well here is my postulate, we want better lives than we had! So while it will never be the same, I hoping on a very deep level and on an every day level, its better. :) Hang in there. Totally understand the fear, but do your best to not worry about what hasn't occurred and focus on what is there for you to handle or embrace. Be sure to acknowledge the good stuff no matter how small and insignificant it may seem. My hubby was not "aware" of all the physical improvements he was making, so when he would be feeling blue and saying stuff, I would be like "Are you kidding? You are doing so much better and I'm so proud of you!" He was, "I am? How?" And I would list them. One day when we were out walking the dog in the evening he was actually strolling with his hands in his pockets instead of one hand at his stomach to keep his balance. I said, "WOW! You are strolling!" He said, "What do you mean?" ...."Well you have your hands in your pockets and you are keeping up with me!" He said, "But I feel like I'm walking so slow!" ... "No, this is how slow you were walking before." and I slowed down to what I had to walk to stay together. "NO WAY!" He said. "YES WAY!" I said. He was so pleased, but he hadn't even noticed. Now make no mistake, while he is no longer frail, he is weak and still very affected. But he is heading in the direction that will get him in a better place, so I never, ever knock an upward trend, no matter how teeny it may be. LIke little children, it encourages him and gives him strength to try harder and push himself to get well. Hang in Sue, hang in. There is a saying "Worrying is praying for what you DON'T want." Interesting uh? So try not to worry and decide how you want things to go. Like "I want Paul's radiotherapy to go really well, uneventful, no problems." Just decide that's how its going to be and you'd be amazed that it might actually go that way! Then do it again and again with everything you can. Decide how you want it to go and be sure to be positive on what you request instead of negative. Good Luck and hope to see you in the chat room sometime! - Lori
