Why is life so awfull??? My poor Paul is really poorly at the moment. He was diagnosed last September with lung cancer that had spread to his spine. Its gone mad lately even gone into his jaw so has trouble eating as he can't open his mouth very far. That is all he needs as he is very thin now . When I look at him I can't believe that is my husband sitting wasteing away in the chair !! He can't do very much now , he is constantly tired and in a lot of pain. Our hospice nurse is great but there is only a certain amount they can do .We are waiting for him to start a new drug called tarceva and are keeping our fingers crossed that this will give him a better quality of life !!! Has anyone had tarceva ?
I lost my darling Dad to this terrible desease in February and can't bear the thought of loosing my darling just yet.
How do you cope as they get worse ??? Its so hard watching them struggle every day . I keep very possitive in front of him but inside I die a bit too.
I'm seeing a counsellor which does help a bit but of course there will be no happy ending for us . I can't bear to look at a old couple walking along the street cos that will never be us . We are only in our 50's
God its like someone has burst my balloon sorry to rave on but I feel full up today !!!
FormerMember
Hi Lyn I know exactley what you mean I too am petrified of the future !!! I can't imagine life without him but it has to be faced one day and thats awfull..
We have 3 children Daniel 28 Becky 27 from my 1st marriage and Grant 18 from ours. The Boys tend to keep their feelings in but our Becky is like me and wears her heart on her sleeve . We all do talk together which helps but it makes the boys uncomfortable so me and Becky tend to do more together.
I had a heart attack 2 years ago and i was sure i was going to have another one and die !!!! So I wanted us to renew our vows. which we did. We had a big do with all the trimmings as when we married we done it on £60.00 !!!. The day was so fantastic i had all the people I love there we had balloons, flowers lots of food and drink and a lovely day not dreaming that Paul would be the one with the problems. I am soooo pleased we renewed them now as that is 1st in my memory bank. Lets keep in touch as we do have a lot in common sadly.
not been on line for a couple of days . Dave is quite poorly at the moment .Not sure wether he is having a bad reaction to some new medication or this horrible desease takin over more of his body.We go back to the hopice tomorrow so hopefully some answers.
What a lovely day you must of had renewing your vows.You were only young to have a heart attack. It must of been so dreadful ,and to be going through what you are now ,life can be so cruel . How are things going with Paul?
Dave has always been so fit an healthy , never smoked, always outside enjoying life .He started with a cough last jan , wouldnt go to the doctors . Eventually got him to go in the july . He was antibiotics for a week .Then sent for an xray ,a shadow showed up on his lung . An we have been on the roller coaster ever since . Hope to speak to yoy soon . Take care
Sorry to hear about Dave feeling poorly. Did you get to the bottom of it ?
Yes like Dave my Paul was very fit and healthy and strong. he was a scaffolder by trade and would walk miles in a day up and down ladders and around the building sites now he has a job to walk to the kitchen and back to the lounge. It breaks my heart.
He got up last week and couldn't see or hear out of the side he has the jaw tumour !!! His oncologist saw us and said he thinks Paul had a little stroke .!!! So now to add to the agony his face is all lop sided and slured speach !!! His sight has returned just fuzzy but his hearing is not good. i just thought anything else !!!!!
Don't know if you want any help in the house but we applied for a grant from Warm Front . It is a goverment ran organisation. if you recieve benefits they will give you a grant to ... Insulate lofts , mend central heating ,cavity wall insulation etc. Anything to do with helping the ozone !!! We got £3500 so we can upgrade the heating do the walls and loft. I couldn't believe our luck !!!!
Sorry to hear about Paul.Isnt life cruel. Dont you feel helpless?He must think what has he done to deserve what he is going through.
Dave had a really bad reaction to his new medication. He was halucinating really frightened him. His breathing was all over the place. the dr wanted him in but he wouldnt, The cancer has gone on his wind pipe which has made his voice croaky, Fingers crossed the meds we are on now have made him so much more relaxed and be able to cope a little better.
When we went to the hospice the physio showed me how to massage his arms you would not believe the differance it makes .It helps with his breathing and makes him sleep more peacefully,The only negative thing was i found a big lump on the inside of his arm . The first time i never said anything. The next day i casually bought it up he said it had been there for a while , He has said nothing has to be mentioned he has had enough of tests ,scans etc. Just so much to handle sometimes [as you no]
Was a good and nice surprise getting the grant .Icant even get the carers allowance sorted have just written another letter ,After last week i have given my job up to be daves full time carer,So have got a few phone calls ahead of me tomorrow.
Really helps to have a rant with someone who knows what you are going through, Hope Paul is not in to much discomfort ,Take care Sue
