My lovely Dad has been given about 6 weeeks to live .He has bladder cancer which has spread to his adrenal glands, tummy and lungs. He is such a proud and loving old gentleman of 84. We have such a special bond and I am finding it so difficult to accept he will be gone soon. I don't want him to suffer either so its like a double sided coin. I don't want him to die but I don't want him to live in pain either
To add to my heartache my husband has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer which has spread to his spine so all is very difficult at the moment. Paul's treatment is going well though so we are keeping our fingers crossed that the big C will be held at bay for a while .
I could do with some feed back to keep my chin up and try to live the best way we can . Its all new to us this awfull desease !!!!
FormerMember
Sorry Its been a while to reply. Its been a very busy time for me . I was too emotional to write on here as I was getting Dad's pain relief ,carers ,meals etc sorted out. Meeting lots of different nurses etc. Dad's still at home but not sure for how long. His legs are swelling now and he is very wobbly. But he is so cheerfull and never ever moans. He is on morfphine oral and tablets .I just find it heartbreaking to watch him die in with this awfull desease.
We have had such special moments lately so that is stored in my memory bank.
Thankyou Annie for your lovely message it is good to talk. Love and hugs Sue xxx
I am so sorry to hear about your Dad and your husband, such a double blow must me hard. I do know how you feel though as my Dad was told last week that his bladder cancer had spread to his liver and bones. It is not treatable only manageable and like you I am devestated.
I completley agree with you about the 2 sided coin, it is so hard to see Dad in pain, but at the same time I just want some miracle to happen and for him to improve. He may have just weeks if he doesn't respond to chemo which starts next week.
Life seems to unjust, but I am glad I have found this website and can talk to people who are going through the same thing. It's a real help.
I've been reading your story having been off site for a few weeks. I was soooooo sorry to read that you had not only one, but two loved ones going through the living hell of Cancer!! I was sad to get to the end and hear that your Dad has since passed on. I lost my Dad just under 3 1/2 years ago and I thought my world had come to an end!!! Of course it hasn't, I'm plodding on looking after my Mum now who has dementia. So although I've pretty well come to terms with life without my dear Dad, my grieving process has to be put on hold while I deal with Mum. But your loss is still very raw and while you need to carry on and be there now for your husband, don't forget to grieve for your Dad. Although his physical presence is no longer with you, his warm loving spirit is with you, wrapping his caring arms round you and helping you along this next difficult part of your journey. Take comfort in knowing that he is no longer suffering and that I'm sure he probably lived life to the full. I don't know why, but I get that impression from you. I'm sure you have wonderful memories of him that you can draw on for strength through these unsettled times. Remember him and even talk to him and it will help you to focus and make you stronger.
I hope this has helped and not upset you.
I will sign of now, take care and look after yourself as well. I wish you Gods love and blessings and will remember you all in my prayers.
O'h thankyou so much for those lovely words. It has helped a lot. How strange is it because just before I signed in to the site I was talking to my Dad !!!
I do feel more at peace now he is settled and out of pain. I do miss him dreadfully but am happy to know he is with Mum now and the rest of his family. We had a lovely funeral. We had personal passages read out from his close family of how he affected our lives etc and that was very moving.
He will be well remembered and live on in all of us and his great grandchildren to come.
My paul has just finished 12 sessions of radio so he has had all the chemo and radio for now. We have to wait till 26th April to find out if the treatment has helped or not ??? So fingers crossed a ?
I will let you know how we get on.
Hope your Mum is not too bad and you are coping well. I will always be glad of a email from you .Let me know how things are
