Hi All!
I'm not a great blogger. However, I just wanted to apologise. One of the tendencies with this site is to appear in a flurry of activity and then slowly shrink from view as the novelty, or otherwise, wears off. I've received loads of support on here, for which I continue to remain grateful. However, I'd just like to say sorry for not always returning the same. As I continue to struggle against this monster, I find many things increasingly difficult. I now spend my time licking my wounds in the shadows of this site. I guess this is just my way of coping, but hope to return with a more positive outlook soon.
Keep up the good work.
Andrew
FormerMember
Hi Andrew
I looked back at your previous posts, and can relate to a lot of what you have said. I had NHL last year and had RCHOP (3 cycles), 2 cycles of high dose methotrexate and radiotherapy. I found the chemos and HDM pretty tough, the HDM left me so weak I could barely stand, and I have struggled with various aches and pains since. At first it was mainly my legs, then came joint pain, and recently lower back pain. Also, my nose still aches at times (lymphoma in nostril, most of it surgically removed) and did so all through my treatments. I don't think the consultants always understand the fall out from the treatment - mine hasn't understood most of my side effects, and says its probably the menopause (brought on by the chemo), but fortunately I have a lovely GP who thinks its far more likely to be the chemo. I had a clear scan in December, but its still incredibly hard to move on from this nightmare, and I think many of us probably lurk in the shadows of this site not quite sure if its making us feel better or worse! Its also hard to give support when you're feeling so low yourself. Life seems to have a habit of throwing one thing after another at us, you've clearly had an awful few years, and I can really sympathise as my daughter (now 21) was ill for several years (she's a lot better now), during which time my dad was very ill and died, then my husband left me and I got lymphoma. I've since met a wonderful new man, though, so even in the darkest times there's always hope.
When you're up to your arse in alligators, it's sometimes difficult to remember that you intended to drain the swamp.
Don't worry about it. Some of us, who are feeling really guilty for having an easy ride, are only too happy to support someone else and feel useful for a change. I have noticed some of my proteges, people who I reply to, are in the front of those supporting other people, but it tends to happen when their own flurry begins to diminish.
People with the same cancer as you will post, and you will have something to say to them, or maybe with a different cancer but similar circumstances. You often reply to people anyway.
Dear Andrew, Sorry to hear your feeling down. I'm sure this rotten weather isn't helping either. Hoping you feel more able to cope very soon. Thank you for letting us know your thoughts. I'll be thinking about you and as always wishing you to be well. linda (((((((((((((((((big hug)))))))))))))))))))
