hello new life: begining of the end for son.....

Dear Laney,

My thoughts are with you and your son very much. I so hope everything goes well.

Dont forget to look after yourself too.

Special Love and Hugs, Love Yvonne xx

Wishing your boy all the best for his forthcoming treatment and op.

Hope it all goes ok, love Jeanie xx

Hey Hun,

Really hope all is ok and that things start to improve. Is it GEMCITOBENE?i've heard that one mentioned to me before but I didn't hae it,

Sending u love and strength

Emma

xxx

Ahh, bless-thanks to all of you for well lovely comments/sentiments. [above]

I came on to update this blog,son's been 'readmitted' again today. Was feeling a wee bit low, then i saw all your messages, & responses!

Thankyou all!!!  

You dont know how lonely I was feeling-then I saw  lots of these little thoughful mssges-& i know im not 100% alone!!!  Thankyou all so much!!! :-)))

Son went for 'blasting' of 'germablastin'[?] chemo today- & couldnt have it-he had a high temprrature, & they reckon a 'infection/germ/whateva-living in hickman line-so that'll be taken out tomorrow.

He's on IV anti biotics....again-It's almost routine now...But I worry, cos he cant risk anything really at this point of his cure-IE:He cant get the flu/infection. He's out in this weather-he's where a lot of people are, but he really needs to be preparing body for few mnths ahead: [specialists recommended he eats everything, & anything fattening to get weight on]-he's still barely eating :-/

It's him being so thin that worries me..-

Im sure he'll be fine once it's all started, the BEAM part over,& infusion/transplant started....

He'll fight, & he'll get through all this. I sincerely believe it's true; my mind wont go anywhere else-I have to be his strength when he needs me to be: like now, when he's in hospital, again.

It pulls him down, gives him reason to feel defeated-etc

It's times like this, when he's at a low, that I have to be stronger- I have to 'do it' for us both; pull son through too, mentally. Try to give him hope again, & get his head in a more positive place

There's no point, i think, but to feel positive.

If I were to constantly think 'negative', & the opposite to how I do generally, It'd pull me down. My son would see that in me, that would stress him more...so, I remain positive-

It's the only place I allow my mind to go, only thought it is alllowed to think; for my sons sake, & mine too i guess. Mostly for my son...He must be shattered after nigh on 2yrs of chemo...& now he's facing this transplant, & all the prodding & probing that goes before it.

I know he'd rather be told nothing, & just go in and let them do to him what they need too-without all the needles/tests,local anesthetic procedures, etc. Tomorrow, the infected hickman line will be removed-he's geting himself worked up already, cos he'll be awake while it's done! It's these 'additinal' 'bits' that get to him more, in a way, then the treatment.

Faced with a son who is so scared, but only tells me-[he'll try to be 'strong' with nurses], I have no option but to be positive, & assuring around him.

I believe, totally, that my son'll do this. The med profession must too-or they wouldnt even bother wasting the grands the treatment will cost the already strapped NHS!...So, they'd only do it if they thought it was financially viable...

I believe 100% that my son'lll do this, & get a busting new immune system afterwards, the whole world will be his to live again, all due to my sons determination, & 'help' from a stranger.

I wish I new this stranger, out in the world somewhere, who, selflessly gave his own cells for my son....

I dont think we can meet donors-be nice to though...

Some people have a heart- & in a world that is becoming, [in my eyes], greedy and selfish, it has renewed  my faith in humanity; that there are people out there who care beyond themselves!  

Alot of them are on this site too, leaving messages...

Bless you all for them- you dont know how much they were appreciated!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

i hope all works out well