Our 1st macmillan visit

Hi Vicki,

Its not a good sign. If you Dads Nurse has to double his doses along with added streoids. So your Auntie might have a point. Your Dads body and Strength are not what they used to be,and as you say he is virtually Bed Ridden.If the Pain is really bad. Your love for your Dad would overcome all else if he was Pain free and at peace. All I want you to understand Vicki is that this cant go on for ever.As long as your with him to give him comfort and support through the bad days,and talk about the good days when you where younger and the happy memories you will always have in your mind

it will put both your minds at ease and give you both peace. All the best to you both.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xxx

Hey Sarsfield,

Wise words as always but if i'm honest when i first read your post last night it really upset me! (i know that wasn't your intention) But it hert to hear that someone else was envisaging the same thing as my aunt who isn't as close.

I know this cannot go on forever and if i'm honest i wouldn't want it to but then i feel myself thinking selfishly that i would rather have him here with me than not at all.

I cried for hours last night i watched a silly film that set me off and then i just couldn't stop.  Then i think the realization of what is actually happening started to set in. I do not want dad in pain.....this is my biggest wish for  him. So i am now going to start to accept  the situation that we are in and make each day count and enjoy every second that i have with him. The love i have for my dad will overcome all other feelings i have right now and i am going to stay focused on that. So thankyou Sarsfield i think once again your words of wisdom and kindness have made me see sense.(((big hugs for you))))

On a lighter note i went to see dad before work this morning and he looked a little brighter and said the new pain system was working very well.

I went back after work and he was actually sat up watching the footie ((hooray)) and he had had a bowl of soup (he hasn't eaten for 3 days)  so the nurse we saw yesterday has done as she promised and taken dad out of pain at least for now.

Take Care and big hugs to you too. love Vicki XXXXX