hello again

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

19 Aug 2010

Hi Guys,

I would like to apologise for my last post, i selfishly thought that being away from here for a bit would help me get my head straight but.......................

there is no-one in the world who listens and cares the way that you guys do.

In the 3 days i have not logged on to the site i have been a mess and i thing that it was a big mistake it isn't a break from you guys that i need at all, i actually need to grieve and stop pretending i am fine.

I am ok i am not falling apart at the seams i just wish i knew how to deal with this empty hole i have inside me.

Someone i went to school with is really ill atm and it puts things in perspective, she is 30 years old, a single mother of 4 and her kidneys and liver have failed (some kind of blood infection), her children are being prepared for the worst.

It has made me think that her and so many others are so much worse off than i am and it is time to live my life again.

Thankyou all so much for your lovely messages, i have missed you guys lol,

but i am back to put my 2pence worth back in. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Welcome back; you know it makes sense. Where else can you have a good rant and no one will judge you for it.

You make a good point there about other people who are suffering, it never seems to matter how hard a time we may be having personally, there is always someone you come across in a worse position.

A work colleague of mine lost his wife in Jan which in itself is catastrophic but since then he has also lost a brother, his brothers wife and his sisters husband. How he keeps going I have no idea, but yes it puts things into perspective.

It in no way devalues or own losses but it does make you think.

Take care

Colin
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Glad to have you back.

Take care of yourself.

Vee. x
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Glad you saw sense . Welcome back home we've missed you!

Love Julie XX
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Way to go girl, welcome back chic...love Carol x
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Morning pink, welcome back. Thanks for saying we all help you cope but you know, you help us too. Although you are grieving you are still giving so we share your grief and send you strength. My dad died when I was 9 (50 now) and I still think of him. Our mums and dads are the most significant people in our lives, they love us no matter what, so when they go we feel very alone. I used to my dad's red cardigan and tobacco box when I felt sad and sit and smell them, wrapping the cardi all around me. I didn't know how to deal with my grief and used to see him coming home after work for about 18 mts after his death. Unfortunately, he disappeared around a corner just before getting home. One day I decided to chase after him and catch him so I ran out of my home towards the alleyway where he turned and as I got nearer to him he suddenly disappeared - I knew he wasn't coming home then. Life is hard, its tough, but that's what makes us appreciate the good and the love we can share. Your babies need you now as their mum. Don't hide your grief, live with it and, each day, give yourself time to think about your dad. I bet your children would love to share your feelings - my mum completely shut down and tried to just carry on - big mistake. Anyway, keep on blogging girl and, one day, I promise, you will move on, but not today. Ann xx
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