7 weeks

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

26 Aug 2010

Today i has been 7 weeks since i lost my dad. Where has the time gone????

I can't believe it has been 7 weeks since that day, 7 weeks since i last saw him. I just can't believe how quick the time has gone yet in some ways it still feels like it has been one long dream that has only lasted 1 night and if i'm lucky i might still wake up.

This morning i bumped in to someone in our village and she said I was so sorry to hear about your dad, how is his treatment going??

Granted i don't know this woman very well and certainly rarely see her but in a village as small as ours how could she not have know.

I started to cry as i told her he had gone, i think it was the 1st time i had ever had to tell anyone. She was mortified.

Thing is I felt really angry towards her...i don't really know her but i just thought you care enough to ask how he is but obviously not enough to mention it to anyone in the last 7 weeks otherwise she would have been told.

I now feel quite angry, i'm snapping at the kids and i just want to scream and then maybe i might wake up from this.

7 weeks and i don't feel like i have moved on at all, i have just been trying to put it all to the back of my mind 'i'll deal with it later kind of attitude' Its not working though.

2 of my sisters friends yesterday bought us a star to name after dad, so she has registered it and they are going to send us a map with co-ordinates on it so that we can find it in the sky. That should be fun, i can even get lost using a satnav lol.

I hope you are all well and sorry for my rant

xxxxxxxxxx

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Pinkvicki,

I was writing an insensitively cheerful blog when you were expressing your anguish. I am sorry to hear of the pain you are going through. It seems to me that seven weeks isn't long and it is not surprising that you are still feeling raw (and anger too - which I believe is a stage of the grieving process).

I hope that naming a star brings some brightness into these dark days for you, and that you will start to be able to enjoy happier memories without being knocked sideways with the pain of it all.

Lots of love,

Eleanor
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

dear vicki

7 weeks is so short a time Hun, you are probably somewhat still in shock, still waking up each day and thinking "did this really happen?" followed by the awful realisation that it is not a dream. so its no wonder you were upset having to say it out loud, in the street, to a woman you hardly know. i really feel for you having to deal with that. anger is to be expected - you've been robbed of someone very special in your life, so yes anger has a part to play as well as so many other emotions.

i guess what i'm trying to say is you can rant here all you like, we all do from time to time. i hope you feel a bit better for writing down your feelings, and please know i am always here for you should you need me.

love and hugs to you and yours, Claire xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Dear Vicki - how long is a piece of string? You cannot put a time limit on grieving, so all your emotions are normal. You have lovely children who are also grieving so go and give them a big hug and tell them why you keep snapping at them and share your feelings - children are so strong and they teach us so much. Take care, one day at a time. Sending kind thoughts, Ann x
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Vicki,

Please stop feeling you have to apologise. There is no need for it. Its natural for you to feel the way you do. You have lost your Dad someone you loved very much.and miss a lot. But try not to take it out on the kids, they dont understand why their Mum is feeling the way she does.

That was a beautiful thought of your sisters friends

to by you a star for your Dad. When you look up it will be the brightest star in the sky.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xxx
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