After 18 months of this daily struggle, my wife is now in the unknown....literaly.!
Treatment is now finished......appart from pain releif, and steroids..
Her Kidney Cancer mets have taken nearly all of her two lungs.
At the last Clinic, and after a chest x-ray ...I was told of her fast failing lungs.
Liz left the room as she always has, and left me to get the results....
The picture on the computer screen showing 2 white lungs and the odd black spot.......The black bits are the good bits.....I was told.
Prognosis........6 to 10 weeks...........we are now starting our 11th week since then.
Liz...as usuall.....doesn't know
She struggles the daily pain, with a daily routine of tablets, and a daily routine of questions.
She struggles the daily routine of worry, fright,
She puts on the brave front, and sinks into her private world of hope, pinning her recovery on my reasurance and control...
The problem is....I'm a liar....
I have a terrible secret, I keep it from her, because I love her.
I have been told of a prognosis that I don't want to believe.....the shelf life of my dearest posession.
The symptoms are hitting us fast and furious now...cold feet, cold hands, loss of urine control, terrible dispea, confusion, pain beyond any drug help, sleeping mostly and only sat up. Cheyne Stoke Breathing.
Optimism..........Is the finest treatment of all.....
Because...I can still get Liz to smile..!!!
