on the 26th of march 2009 i lost my mum to lung cancer, she was diagnosed with stage4 sclc in early jan 2009 although an xray had shown a shadow on her lung just before christmas,she kept the bad news from us till the 27th of dec, a bronsoschophy/ biopsy was done on new years eve,my dad and i waited for her in a hotel opposite bournemouth hospital we couldnt understand why the hotel was so liveley and then realised it was new years eve,everything was confirmed chemo would be to prolong not cure etc,the oncologist said mum was just ok for chemo because of her copd ,she had two lots of chemo and the day i took her in for the third they said her blood pressure was to low to give it,they kept mum in hospital and i stayed by her side till her very last breath,losing mum hit me my dad and sister like a train,anyway in the half term holidays of october 24th to nov 1st we took dad on holiday with us to loch lomond,although dad did say it felt to soon to go on holiday without mum and i agreed, but said i had to for my kids,while there my dad was complaining of shoulder pain which he told me was down to stretching to open a little window in his kitchen,iasked him how long he had had it and he said a few weeks,i asked him to get it checked out when we got home and he did, he went to the doctor who sent him for an xray the next day they phoned to say they needed to do another xray we got called to attend a clinic where they told us a shadow had been found on his lung same one as my mums incidentley,this was about the 15th of nov just last year,my dad didnt take it that seriously because he just had a bit of shoulder pain that he was managing with just ibuprofen and felt fine otherwise, he said the shadow could be tb or scarring or anything he was convinced they were over reacting,we came out of the clinic and there was a notice board with the symptoms of lung cancer on it ,we started at the top shortness of breath ,nope, dad said ,blood in sputum ,nope, dad said ,he said no to them all till the last one which said shoulder pain!, he said yeah well that could be anything couldnt it, alarm bells started ringing loud in my head as i realised we could be having a complete de ja vue of my mum, on the 3rd of december we went for the results of his ct scan which showed tumours in the lung abdomen and shoulder, the biopsy they did didnt confirm lung cancer so my dad was still upbeat that the dreaded words lung cancer hadnt been said yet although they were sure it was,he was still looking fine eating drinking walking, i have him on camcorder teaching my son to play dominoes at loch lomond and he looks so well,he even came to torquay on dec 11th for a boxing show my other son was in,and he was still ok getting me up to the bar to get him bacardi and cokes,by christmas day i was terrified he had deteriorated badly and had the doctor out christmas day,who said to me hes ok not bad enough to be admitted to hospital,what a clown he was ,i think he thought i wanted my dad of my hands over christmas as he was to much trouble nothing couldt have been father from the truth, he said if he was my dad i wouldnt put him on a understaffed hospital ward over christmas, my dad could barely stand and i was taking him to the toilet etc. i phoned poole hospital on boxing day and said he had to be admitted they asked his symtoms and said bring him straight away, they took some blood and said they knew why he was like he was his calcium levels were sky high, and it was a good job you brought him in, he got briefly better as they got the calcium levels down and all he wanted to do was come home, it seemed to take ages to get the care hospital bed etc in place at home,then the ward was closed due to the norovirus even for next of kin for six days! he kept saying to me you have got to get me out of here kid, i tried my hardest dad, i never got my dad home and he died on the 23rd of january, i was ther e for his final breathes aswell and thankfully it was more peacefully than my mums, im sorry for the ramble but loved my parents dearley im a 41yr old man but feel like a lost 8yr old boy, god bless you mum and dad till we meet again..
