Having gone from thinking I was on the road to recovery to getting the news that I have an incurable cancer was and still is hard hitting, I had just started getting a bit of normal back in my life, going out for walks and going back to work full time (using holiday to give me shorter weeks) but I felt everything was moving in the right direction. After getting this news I struggled to find motivation to do anything and it wasn’t until early January that I attempted any form of work again. Even for me getting out of bed was a struggle and I’ve always been someone who gets up early.
So there was (and again still is) a lot of crying done, some days I can carry on as normal and distract myself from what is going on, but others it all just hits me. The way I see it is I have a final destination that I am heading towards with two roads to possibly use, if the chemotherapy works then I will be going on the A and B roads to get to my destination in a longer time, if it doesn’t work I will be using the motorway which will get me there a whole lot quicker.
Some good news though in amongst all this rubbish, myself and my wife celebrated as best we could our 4th wedding anniversary in November with a Pizza Express takeaway and some champagne (downside was we had to go into hospital for me to sign paperwork to accept the chemotherapy and see the oncologist on our anniversary, not the most romantic thing ever, but it needed to be done). A few days later we then attended a friend’s wedding where I was a bridesman, this was a daunting experience as we hadn’t socialised or been in a big group of people since covid, so that was interesting adjusting to a “normal” life again. Admittedly we did have a little cry in the evening as it was quite raw seeing a couple starting a married life together to spend their lives together and we were still processing the fact our marriage is likely to be cut a lot shorter than we had in mind. That said it was a lovely day and a really nice wedding, just great to be a part of.
