So.... the journey starts!

Monday 30th March Can’t believe another month has gone by! Where are the days flying too? Have just got back from a few days up in Yorkshire. I had booked a few days away for hubby and I to do some walking over hill and dale, staying at a country inn as part of hubby’s Christmas present, all pre-diagnosis. We had not cancelled it the minute I had been given the diagnosis but decided to wait until we found out when I would be starting my treatment etc. As it turned out on Wednesday last week, the day before we set off, the long awaited letter dropped through the letterbox detailing the plan of my life for the next 2 months. My God this is actually happening to me! It came as a bit of a surprise as I thought I was waiting for a phone call informing me of my planning assessment appointment and was under the misapprehension that it was at this appointment that I would be given the detailed appointment programme. I opened the letter and was even more surprised that it actually took my breath away for a second or two as my eyes scanned the contents! There, in great detail, was a list of all my appointments starting today with the assessment for the insertion of my PICC line next week, followed by an appointment with the radiotherapy specialist nurse and finally my planning CT scan. This meant the trip to Yorkshire was on. Unfortunately walking was right out of the question as the old bum pain is the most restrictive thing in my life right now. The car journey up the M1 etc of around 5 hours was none to comfortable as it happened to be one of those bad days. When it is bad I seem to find it impossible to get comfortable despite frequent changes of position. Tried sitting upright, reclining the car seat back a bit, sitting on the right buttock and then the left but no joy! We stopped at one of those dreadful motor way service stations for a short break which brought some relief. I was never so glad to reach the country inn we were staying at and run a really hot bath and soak in it for nearly 45 minutes to gain some relief! Before venturing down to the bar for a lovely meal followed by a good nights sleep, all be it that the consequence of eating well meant a very early morning visit or three to the loo to start my day followed by the inevitably few hours aftermath of pain! The weather was cold and bright on the Friday and so we set off to explore Harrogate. It is amazing how many new loos one can visit in one morning a strange town!!! Harrogate was lovely despite the freezing cold wind that whistled round every street corner that eventually turned the largish umbrella that hubby and I were battling with completely inside out and snapped one of the spokes completely! At that point we found a nice little wine bar and rested up for a while before setting off to visit the RHS gardens at Harlow Carr. Big mistake! We paid our entrance fee, all £14.00 of it for the two of us, and set out to follow the spring trail. Before we had walked very far at all I was struggling. It is such a nuisance and I was very near to tears. All the things that I would normally enjoy doing like shopping, walking and exploring new places are now not much fun and in fact the PITA completely dominates my daily life. Another long soak in a very hot bah on return to the inn and a few glasses of wine with the meal and my last dose of paracetamol and ibuprofen meant a good nights sleep, only broken by the sheep bleating away in the field outside the bedroom window at some unearthly hour and two trips to the loo! Saturday brought more wind and freezing sleet and rain! We however braved a visit to Brimham Rocks. It is quite a special place and the rock formations are fascinating in a great variety of weird and wonderful shapes carved out of sandstone by the weather over the millennia. Mind you as hubby and I were so wrapped up in our wet weather gear, with water dripping of the hoods of our waterproofs into our eyes and having to have our heads down to prevent the driving wind and rain hitting us full on in the face we got to see more of the pathways than get to see that much of the actual rocks! We certainly didn’t see the spectacular views we were expecting of the surrounding moors, as they were completely obliterated by the driving rain! In the end though I felt quite an achievement at actually having made it up to the view point and back to the car despite the elements and the PITA! A short drive on to Masham and I was happily left sat in a handy pub with the daily paper and a glass of wine by a roaring fire to thaw out whilst hubby visited a small traditional local brewery called the Black Sheep Brewery. He was in his element and we then drove the scenic route over the moors and dales back to our inn for him to sample more of the local brew and me to enjoy another glass or two of wine with dinner then blissfully to bed exhausted! The next day we checked out as the sun shone gloriously from a cloudless sky! Typical! The drive home was far more comfortable. Not sure why some days as far better than others. We stopped off in the Midlands to spend a few hours with a couple of our best and oldest friends. It was so good to se them. Only wished we could have stayed longer. This afternoon I was back at the Oncology Centre for the first of my appointments on the schedule for the assessments. A good day in a strange sort of way. I am feeling more informed but somewhat apprehensive at what is in store. Apparently I have a good vein in my right arm! The ones in the left arm I am reliably informed are too stringy! This was a bit of a relief as otherwise I would have to have the PICC line inserted in my chest. I go again next Monday to have the line inserted. No baths then for 6 weeks, thank goodness I will be able to shower! I am right handed which is a bit of a blow as the nurse told me that I will not be able to hold or lift anything whilst the line is in, should be grateful I suppose as it will let me off the hovering and ironing for a few weeks! I have an old bum bag somewhere that I will have to try and dig out of the depths of the loft! This apparently is the ideal thing to hold the chemo pump in during the cycles of chemo. The NHS used to provide a bag for the pump but certainly here in Kent these are no longer provided, nor the waterproof protectors for the PICC lines to keep them out of the water in the shower. I then had a session with the radiology nurse to discuss some of the side effects of that treatment, pain killers etc. The burns I am told to expect sound very painful and I just hope they are not as bad as the worst case scenarios that she painted. Will have to look out for some Bridget Jones big knickers it seems. Very sexy! We have a holiday booked abroad in Cyprus at a friends apartment at the end of June which the oncologist told me not to cancel yet as I should be OK to go to. The nurse however is not so sure as she thinks as it will only be a month after the radio finishes that I my not be up to it. So we will just have to wait and see and keep fingers crossed. Next it was on for the planning CT. My oncologist was there to greet me and inject the dye ready for the scan. The young, pretty radiographer explained the procedure clearly and made me feel quite relaxed. Thank goodness I did not have to drink the gallons of water prior to the scan this time and felt quite comfortable lying on my tummy for it. This is how I will have to lie for the actual treatment too. I was surprised how quickly it was all over and before I knew it I was having my permanent tattoos etched onto my rear end! Always had thought about having a tattoo when I was younger but would have preferred something a bit more exciting than three boring blobs! A couple of years ago remember seeing a young girl who worked in the hair dressing salon I used to go to wearing those low slung trousers seem to be so fashionable and poking out of the top of her hip band (you could hardly call it a waist band!) was a tattoo in the shape of a largish dogs paw print! I loved it! Had I been only about 10 years younger I might even have had one as it was such fun and made me laugh. So, I now wait till next Monday to have the line in and then a dressing change on the Tuesday and a discussion with the radiologist and then everything starts for real on the Tuesday after Easter Monday. At last it is happening but now I am beginning to feel a bit frightened and unsure. But it is a means to the end and I must keep that to the forefront of my mind whatever. Seeing my GP on Wednesday to sort out my exemption certificate and to get my pain killer prescriptions sorted out. Hoping to get some of Drew’s gel in preparation for the inevitable treatment induced PITA and PTPD!