Wondering how women with Papillary Serous Adencarcinoma with clear cells Grade 111C cope with the poor survival rate they read about when they look it up on the internet? At the moment it seems there's a 33% chance of survival for us. Is this your reading? Has it improved? Would like to know more!
I tend to not automatically believe I will be the lucky 1 in 3. What kind of presumtious thinking is this:
"Oh of course it's going to be me. I'm so special, so strong, I know how to do this!"
Fundementally, I don't see why it should necessarily be me, though it could be, of course. I have told myself that I preferred to try to be realistic and say
"this could be a very long haul and so you would be better to organize your life to be as well as you can, emotionally."
In those dark days of chemo, post op, I spoke to my new female God, I meditated and flushed out my cancer cells, I found all sorts of internal strengths to feel good about. I worked on dealing with my cancer the best I could,;so if there was a chance of being the 1 in 3, it might just be me
But gradually, through feeling ill for so many months (now I'm on 55th Radio Therapy treatment), I've stopped meditating, stopped vizualizing, stopped delighting in my female god and I've become maudlin.
Until today. I went to have a head massage and a facial. I felt good, less mentally tired, prettier, alive, less DIZZY!!! I enjoyed my lunch, which I don't usually enjoy.
I read the Budwig Protocal,which is helpful, especially the spiritual aspect of it (havent dared tried the diet since I have a nuttritionalist).
Some friends are coming round for a short visit in a few hours. I have wonderful family and friends.I don't know more than this.
The future bothers me. I can have dreams I enjoy, (for example my youngest son is going to have a baby. I'm going to visit my mother in California and see friends in LA). Then I experience deep secret fears which are like bad dreams (mostly financial). I would appreciate sharing experiences with someone, or others who are also dealing with this roller coaster ride.
