This weekend was amazing, yet emotional. Since we don't live together, our time has always been precious, but never as much as now. It was a rollercoaster of a weekend and what should have been special was marred by an ex that didn't understand the meaning of the word ex!!!! All sorted now but pressure we did not need. We have argued for the first time ever which hurt like crazy, however, the plus side of that is that he has actually cried with me. A trip to the hospital resulted in us being given a most unwelcomed prognosis. It's not enough, we need so much more. He is so frightened, yet refuses to admit it and let this crappy disease get to him. My normally, loving, gentle, easy going baby has become quick tempered, which I am assured by friends that have been through similar things, is perfectly normal and I mustn't take it personally but it's so hard not to. On the up side, we have managed plenty of laughs and smiles too. We have soooo many friends that care about us both. The are always ready to make light of everything and although inside I am crying, I manage to smile and laugh along because that is how my poor man wants it to be. I know that one day, in the not too distant future, I will have to face that I am not asleep and that everyday I am living is a hard reality that I am going to lose the love of my life. I don't want that day to come ever. I want to wake up and realise the fear has all been one big long black nightmare.
