OOOPS
> The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad
> news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition,
> which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates
> one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove
> the testicles.'
>
> Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.
> He had no choice but to go under the knife.
>
> When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in
> 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As
> he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person.
> He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
>
> He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new
> suit.
> He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'
>
> The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... Size 44 long.'
>
> Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
> 'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.
>
> Joe tried on the suit; it fit perfectly.
>
> As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'
>
> Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
>
> The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'
> Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
> ' Been in the business 60 years.'
>
> Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.
>
> Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, 'How about
> some new underwear?'
>
> Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'
>
> The salesman said, 'Let's see... Size 36.'
>
> Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years
> old.'
>
> The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would
> press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell
> of a headache.'
>
> New suit - $400
> New shirt - $36
> New underwear - $6
>
>
> Second opinion - PRICELESS
FormerMember
The Obedient Wife' There was a man who had worked all his life, had
saved all of hisMoney, and was a real 'miser' when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you toTake
all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take myMoney to
the afterlife with me.' And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of
her heart, thatWhen he died, she would put all of the money into the
casket with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his
wife wasSitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next
to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers
got ready to close the casket, the wife said, 'Wait just a moment!'She had
a small metal box with her; she came over with the box andPut it in the
casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it
away. So her friend said, 'Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put
all that money in thereWith your husband.' The loyal wife replied,
'Listen, I'm a good Christian; I cannot goBack on my word. I promised him
that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.' You mean to
tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?''I sure did,'
said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into myAccount, and wrote
him a check.... If he can cash it, then he canSpend it.'
Didn't see this one at first, but doesn't it prove just how loyal and true we women are? lol This one too deserves the title of priceless. thanks for the laughter and the smiles, love kate xxxxxxxxx
