Mick Flaherty had supped more Guinness than enough and had stumbled out of Quinn's bar and into the Sunday afternoon air.
As his drunken eyes squinted to adjust to the light, an ambulance went by at great speed. Blue lights flashing and siren blaring, it roared up the street with Mick in full flight running after it.
A hundred yards, 200, 300, almost a quarter of a mile he tracked it until suddenly, lungs and legs giving out, he fell into the gutter.
Then with his very last ounce of breath he roared: 'You can keep your damned ice cream
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Doing 120 in a 65, he knew he was in trouble when the cop pulled in behind him with the roof lights on. Figuring he could just lose the cop he floored the Ferrari. 130, 140, 150 and still the cop was right on his tail. 170, 180, still could not ditch the cop. Giving up he pulled over.
The cop approached the car," Give me one damn good reason why I shouldn't give you the biggest ticket this world has ever seen"
"Well, he stated, " Just last week my wife ran off with a cop."
"SO WHAT!!!" the cop screamed.
"I thought you were trying to bring her back."
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A supporter arrived at the ground one Saturday to find the place completely empty. He went to the office and asked an official,
'What time does the match start?'
'There's no match today,' replied the official.
'But there must be!' argued the fan. 'It's Saturday.'
'I'm telling you there's no match today,' repeated the official.
'But there's always a match on Saturday afternoon,' said the fan, 'even if it's only a reserves game.'
'Watch my lips,' shouted the irate official. 'There is no M-A-T-F-C-H today!'
'Well, for your information,' the would-be spectator shouted back, 'there's no F in match.',
'That's what I've been trying to tell you!' yelled the official
