On Monday, as a family we decided to withdrawal my fathers lung infection treatment, declined putting him on a ventilator and go for 'TLC' only. He died just over twenty four hours later (yesterday). I am now haunted by him struggling to communicate through the morphine, how aware was he? Was he scared? Was he panicking? Did he resent us as we sat with him as a family and watched him die, not responding to his requests? I'm glad he is in a better place now but those last few days are haunting me even though the last minutes of his life were serene and even warranted a smile from him as I whispered 'I love you' in his ear.
I do have some positives - my local Hospice, MacMillan and the NHS staff are worth more than any professional footballer is worth, next time you have dealings with them give them a smile and let them know :-)
Paul
