Hello everyone,
I hope you are all fighting fit and have had a good week.
For me the week so far has been a bit of a roller coaster of emocions, firstly horrified that the 'C' word was now being directed at little ol me! having always assosiated it with family members and friends who have previously gone down the same journey, and who i have had the pleasure of being helpful to, but now it is me that is the patiant, how do i handle that!
Then there was the thought of an operation to remove it (TURBT) which i had no worries with apart from the fact that any op is a worry, then to be told after 6 hours in the waiting room that there was not a bed available ! was to say the very least unbelivable, and this made me feel like i didnt matter and was worthless, and that once again i was being trodden down by the mouthy, uncooth, arrogant, obnoxious, people who were making so much fuss about having to wait, while i am there just passing the time, being quiet minding my own business. The poor nurse who has to come and tell you this devastating news of course is going to pick where possible the least ferocious looking candidate, which is usually probably me!
So another week to wait on top of the further 2 weeks of waiting for the results, plus family who have flown in to help me after the op from around the country now standing idly by just as worried as myself, wondering what they can do to make the week pass quickly.
For some light releif sunday morning i went for a ride on my motorcycle (KTM990 Adventure) had breakfast with my mates at Cowfold and then went to watch the final round of the british trails championship at Cowden, something i had wanted to do for some years but never got round to it, had a fantastic day did 200 miles on the bike in all, which has breathed some fresh air into my lungs and given renewed hope and drive for the coming events good or bad.
Once again i am waffling on, and once again a sleepless night, one thing i have found out, that night time telly is far better than evening viewing although you have to be prepared to miss bits here and there when you nodd off now and then!.
Oh well a new day dawns full of excitement and worry in equal doses i expect, should i tax the car for a full year or will 6 months surffice? ummm!
i wonder.........
Have a good day and a better week, thinking of you all, take care.
Pauli.
