I was almost at the end of my radiotherapy sessions and feeling very confident about getting through this, in fact I was feeling slightly guilty that I had got off so lightly when I felt another lump in my neck. An ultra sound scan and biopsy reveal more melanoma in my lymph glands and the doctor has said as soon as possible I will have to have a lymph node dissection. My partner and I were so disappointed, but this was just before Christmas and we were determined to make it as normal and fun as possible for my young son, and for us too as it was the first Christmas he had not been working abroad. We had a lovely few weeks and he bought me the most wonderful, fun presents I've ever received, and we felt positive about our future.
He went back to work on the 29th December and on the morning of the 31st December I had a police officer standing in my kitchen telling me that he had collapsed on the oil rig and died on the way to the hospital....... he was just 39 years old.
I am now sitting in the heat of Dubai fighting with the authorities to permit an autopsy so that we can know why this happened before I bring him home to Norwich for his funeral.
I feel like God has completely abandoned me.......... what did I do to deserve this?
Paula M
FormerMember
I am lost for words, which doesn't happen often. All i can do is send you a cyber Hug and let you know i am and will be thinking of you.
Paula I barely know what to say,you definatley haven't done anything to deserve this no one has, I don't know what gods plan is, but I firmly believe that he's out there for you and if you can find him he will help you through all of this. If you can't then you just dig deep girl because the strength is there in you, it was there when you gave birth to that beautiful child, it was there when you first got your diagnosis and its still there.It dosn't cover it I know but good luck.
God has not abandoned you. You will know that when you have managed to sort out these complicated procedures and got yourself and him back here. He is fighting your corner. Only believe it. Is the Embassy helping? Couldn't you just get him back and have the autopsy done back here? Just being ignorant I suppose. Is the Company helping you? I can't see that they could face their public if they didn't.
Then I suppose you have to find a way of restarting your treatment here? All this stuff ought to help you to cope now, and when you have got through the formalities, there will be lots of friends to help you through your treatment.
Oh Paula it is difficullt to know what to say, but it is most definitely nothing that you have done and God certainly has not abandoned you. He never promised any of us an easy life but why he makes life so hard for some and deals such awful hands I have no idea at all. I just hope in some small way you know that all your friends here will support you through thick and thin.
I wish you all the very best and all the luck in the world
My dear Paula, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm not a religious person but I do believe that there is something in the power of 'prayer' or 'positive thinking'. I think you can be sure that all the folk on this site will be sending you all their good wishes.
