Thoughts of things to come

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Well 5 weeks into my 12 weeks of cdt chemo and doing okay .No bad side effects bit breathless ,tired ,shake a bit , numb mouth and strange tastes but nothing compared to sunny leith and many, many others . Because the chemo seems to be going well and my bad protein levels have dropped , if continued in this way i will be sent to St Barts after 100 days grace from this chemo. There to have a 6 week stay for stronger chemo and then stem cell treatment . The thing is this may give me another 2 years or 10 years if successful an unknown quantity .My concern my worry is infection or being very poorly and losing what i have now .

              I know myeloma has no cure but they try to make it plateau and the stem cell treatment can give an extended plateau time .I know for my families sake i will take this and at 52 should be strong enough to fight my corner, it,s just that nagging in my head what if ,what if,what if.

              I don,t know how quickly the cancer would take over if i did not take the treatment . It has already invaded my bones by 60 percent and popped a good few holes in them ( not much good as a builder now ,i might manage lego now)

   Sorry to all just needed to see my mind in print , will take Lulu for a walk and think of brighter things.

     you are all stars in my eyes and i love looking at you xxx

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