My elderly brave mum

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

21 Jan 2011

Just a quick note as I have just joined, and 'quick' because I am so exhausted. My mum is 92, and had a good life so we are lucky by many other peoples standards. She became suddenly unwell on her birthday back in November and nearly died then. But she was given several blood transfusions whilst they ran tests to see what was wrong. Just before Christmas she was diagnosed with leukaemia. She is now at home in the final stages of her life.

Thank god for Macmillan nurses who have supported us.

There has been some battles on the way with arrogant doctors and nurses in the general hospital. I dont think they practice TLC (tender loving care) anymore. Its probably not in the degree syllabus.

I wish the elderly patients could be seen as ordinary people. And it seems that many times we have had to be prepared to be confrontational to be heard. The medical profession (more so the nurses) seem to quote the data protection act every other sentence. I think its a way of withholding information which in turn creates an atmosphere of power over the patient and relative. I am afraid that we have experienced this with the death of my dad 20yrs ago and the death of my mother in law 13 years ago. Time for a change in the law???!!!

Paul

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Thanks Nic. Especially for the 'hug' at this time. I agree with you and I should have said that there are many nurses out there with their hearts in the right place. But I also sgree with all you have wrote.

Paulx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Paul,

Im Very sorry to hear about your Mums Condition and the way she has been treated by Some Nurses.

Believe me there are a hell a of a lot more good nurses than bad ones. My thoughts are with you and your Mum and Family at this time.

Take care and be safe Sarsfield.
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KateG over 14 years ago

I agree; old people are treated as second-class citizens. I experienced this with several elderly relatives. Nurses who didn't speak to the patient before taking temps., blood-pressure, injecting them, and heaving them around as if they were a piece of meat. I was so angry but bit my tongue most of the time in case they 'took it out' on my relative.

I explained to both doctors and nurses that one relative, who was severely deaf, needed them to speak clearly, not put hands over their mouths and look at her because she depended on lip-reading. I even asked them to write it in BIG letters on her notes. I was wasting my breath. Doctors didn't look at her when talking to her, and often nurses whose English was very poor, were completing unintelligible to her - to the point where she was completely confused. I visited every day and tried to help her but I couldn't be there 24/7.

I'm sure there are good nurses out there but they probably work on the surgical wards tending the younger patients, or as midwives; they're rarer than hen's teeth in geriatrics.

You mum is lucky to have you fighting her corner.

I wish you strength.

KateG
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

I retired as a nurse 5 years early after 38 years because I couldn't stand the politics anymore.

Nurses and medical staff are so frightened of litigation that they don't have time to be caring as we were in my day.

In saying that in my day there was nothing in our training that taught us to care. We weren't allowed to spend time talking to patients otherwise matron would have been on our backs.

All that said during my care for cancer I had nothing but professionalism from very caring nursing staff and doctors.

I want to send you a (((Hug))) too and one for your dear mum (((Hug)))

Love Julie x
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