how do we tell mum shes dying?????x

I agree totally with what everyone else has said and especially what Sue says about what benefit would there be?

I, personally would not want to know how much time I had and have told my family so. Some people can cope with that news and others can't. You know your own mum and will know whether it is advisable for her to be told. Why make what little time she has left more anxious for her than is necessary if she is not the type of person who would want that news.

My own dad who passed away last year asked me to tell the doctors he didn't want to know timescales and that was respected by the medical profession. Deep down I know that dad knew he was dying, but I know he needed to have that little bit of hope and it was easier for us to talk to him about having treatment etc, although we all knew it was never going to make a difference.

Like Sue says also, it is possible to say the things which need to be said without discussing timescales. I was able to tell dad I loved him without getting into heavy discussions.

Whatever happens, this is never an easy time for anyone and my heart goes out to you. I hope you find a time to tell your mum how you feel about her.

Wishing you all the very best,Christine xx

Hi Flower

Such a tough time for you all and an extremely tough thing to do x

The situation was a bit different for us. When my dad was diagnosed 20yrs ago (on his birthday) the doctors said he had 2-3 days to live as the cancer was caught so late and one of us should tell him. We were in total hysteria and shock, my dad asked my hubby "was it bad news", "it aint good mate". My dad, my hero sobbed like a baby. He passed 2 1/2 weeks later. My mum bless her went into total denial that he would leave us and thought that him wanting to come home was a possitive sign and she would nurse him back to health.

When is anyone ready to leave this life, be as hard as it is, we want to be with our loved ones. I think your mum is aware already love. Timescales only bring more unwanted anxiety to you all,  time wasted when you should be enjoying every moment surrounded by love and comfort.

As hard as it is take this time to make memories, they wont be all bad ones xxxx

Sending you much love and strength to continue x

Shaz xx

thank you to everyone for there input ,i think its told me what i already new .just so hard to deal with on top of everything else.i think deep down she probably does know but doesnt want to upset her family ,love valx

Everyone needs hope to get through each day , dont take away that let her believe and have something to hold onto , ( we did this for our mum until her final breath and its the hardest thing we had to do but we couldnt take that away from her and it was done with love ) xxxx