newly diagnosed

hi. i must admit im using this site as therapy for myself. i never want to forget any detail of this experience. had biopsy results on monday -breast cancer with traces of cancer found under armpit. husband with me, just as well cause i didnt take much in. macmillan nurse very good and explained a lot after doctor left room. explained that i had a lot of pain in back for approx 5 months so they rushed through CT for Tuesday. The hours after scan till results on wednesday is a time i cannot put into words, I was terrified. I really thought if I get bad news would i be able to cope. I could possibly manage if i had one site, but if more!!!!!!!! i have elderly parents how would they cope, the children, i wouldnt be able to give them hope if i thought the worst. -THANK GOD it came back as only one site. i came out of meeting positive and so happy ; chemo here i come, surgery date not in near future, appointment sorted for wig and oncology department. THE APPOINTMENT AT THE BREAST CLINIC WAS LIFE CHANGING, HOW I HAD MY HEAD IN THE SAND TO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WERE GOING THROUGH. I HAVE HAD FAMILY MEMBERS AFFECTED BUT TO ACTUALLY BE THE PATIENT I SHALL NEVER SEE THINGS THE SAME AGAIN.