I should be feeling on top of the world with holidays coming up but I am not. The chemo brain shows no sign of disappearing - I am feeling constantly fuzzy and is made worse when I try to do anything. I am going in circles my brain doesn't want to think straight. Cooking is a nightmare and takes so long. I forget about pans put on and light ovens without remembering to remove the contents. No accidents but it greatly concerns me. I am struggling to remember things that should come off the top of my head. I have given up on earrings as they are too fiddly to put in and the holes are now sealed. and I feel scared - which I know is silly as I have nothing to be scared about.. I wander around of a night unable to sleep as though I am in the midst of an unseen nightmare.
Given a choice I would go to bed and not get up. Roll on the holiday and some rest where I dont have to think about anything. Perhaps it is sub concious fear of the next hospital appointment.
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