5 weeks after finding the lump, John had his appointment with the consultant for results yesterday. Except there were no results. The biopsy results were not back. And apparently they sometimes ask for a bigger sample anyway so they have now decided he will go in and have a big chunk taken out under ga tomorrow.
That's the frustrating news.
The worrying news is that the CT scan results are in and he has lymph node swellings in his chest and his tummy - his aorta i think he said.. He says it all points to lymphoma and he would guess non-Hodgkins.
The exceptionally worrying news is that when i asked if it could be related to his bad back his consultant said that there were abnormalities in his spine on the ct scan too so he is going to also send him for an MRI scan next Thursday.
Although he stuck his neck out and said he didn't think the lymphoma was a secondary cancer as John doesn't seem poorly enough and it is usually secondary to something near, I'm freaking out as to my untrained medical eye we still seem to be potentially looking at a Grade 4. I don't know how bad this is in terms of lymphoma. And I shouldn't jump ahead so we've just got to get through the next lot of tests and wait for the next appointment - which hasn't even been scheduled. He said it is likely depending on results that John will be moved to haematology.
The only positive thing about the whole meeting was that he thinks we should go on holiday. We are booked to go 3 weeks from yesterday. He said by then we should have all the results and know what we are about to embark on and that it would do John good to have some sun and r and r before it all kicks in. My sister put a dampner on this though by saying we'd never get insurance as they won't insure until after treatment and surely we wouldnt risk going without...
Anyway some other random thoughts-
1. I feel ill myself and I'm scared silly in case i get soemthing too with the worry and leave the boys as orphans.
2. I I'm hugely irritated at how shite some supposedly good friends have been over this whilst also being very grateful to the people who are being supportive, especially our families.
3. I'm seriously stressed about how this is going to affect the children. they know nothing other than daddy has a lump on his neck at the moment but i think this will have to change in case someone says the c word in front of them. i dont want to exclude them but i don't want to stress them more than neccssary.
4. i'm massively very sorry i made my name on here itshappeningtometoo because it isnt and i'm so so sorry that it is happening to him, who doesn't deserve it at all :-(((
Anyway here is a picture entitled Overcompensating. I picked the boys up from school yesterday and marched them into town to buy the trainers of their very hearts desire.
