Oh the middle of the scare, it's like the eye of the storm. Very quiet, just me and him, clinging onto a bit of normality whilst we can, whilst all around, storms of thoughts and what ifs rage around us.
J's heartburn type pain hasn't gone and his consultant is ordering a CT scan. J thinks he can feel something in his chest. He had me feel it yesterday. I thought i could feel something too, and it wasn't small. I tried again and I couldn't. When he wakes in the morning he says he feels it pushing down as if he can't breathe.
All this could be in his head. He could have heartburn, he could have a hernia. He could have a return of the Hodgkins. He could have stomach cancer as a result of the chemo. So we wait for the CT scan and then we'll wait for the results. And everything else, all the lovely stuff we have coming up, will not be quite as lovely as it was before. You all know the drill...
