The last week or so has been good here. J has been a lot stronger, and we've been doing nice stuff together as a family. Going to see santa, for example, this weekend, was amazing. I was so happy. Simple things that we wouldn't have thought much about before now seem like such a blessing. J is walking the dog every day and making tea, and doing the washing and being a far better house wife than i've ever been. I don't know what I'll do when he goes back to work!
So we're all fine. Mostly his colour has been great and he looks well and we think he;s on the road to recovery. He had his first shave in several months last week which was cause for great celebration!
I'm compelled to write this today though because there are also days (like today) when he still looks peaky with brown ringed eyes, and he says he feels bone tired and achey, and I feel scared that it is because the cancer is still there. I don't know if he thinks that because I daren't ask. But I notice that the twitching is still there some nights. It scares me.
I've got myself another little christmas job to make a bit more money as we are totally brassic but it involves me getting up at 5am. It's only 3 days a week but it makes for long days for both of us, as I do it before i go to my proper job. I can cope but I worry about him as he has the kids and dog to deal with and I worry that it is breaking his sleep and hampering his recovery. Its so hard to know what to do for the best...
Still no appointment through for his PET scan. I wonder, I wonder what's going to happen...
