My Dad's been in hospital for almost two weeks now. He's been going to the hospice day hospital once a week and they did a blood test, it found he had high calcium levels (?) which is apparently normal and treatable with lung cancer. Anyway, he had to go to A&E for treatment, which turned into him being admitted and staying in hospital for two weeks. He's had saline drips and his pain meds have been changed (not sure what to) and he's really gone downhill fast in these two weeks. I took my mum to the hospital to visit this evening, I haven't been able to go as much as I'd like because I've started a new job and it's a bit demanding of my time at the moment, and also to be perfectly honest I'm finding it hard to cope with seeing my dad as he is and my mum so upset about it, and I hate the hospital he's in as my sister in law and my brother both died there, my heads a bit messed up at the minute. When we were leaving we spoke to the nurse ho's been looking after my dad, she said they're looking to get him home soon, hopefully tomorrow, but I made it clear my mum needs some kind of help at home, she's doing everything at the moment and taking all the frustration and temper flack from my dad too. I feel lots of guilt about that, I can't take time off work and I have 3 teenagers but I do as much as I can for my parents, to me it's not enough right now.
I'm just rambling on now, from what the nurse said tonight I think that my dad is being prepared to come home to die, I have mixed feelings about that. My dad is my hero, I don't want him to die yet, I'd never have enough time with him if he lived forever, but he's in pain and suffering, I don't want that either.
