When M came out of hospital, having had his stent fitted, he was at a very low ebb and the most poorly and weakened he has ever been in his life. How do you bounce back from that? After 7 rounds of aggressive chemo and a determined attitude, he was now back where he started, only worse off. We had a mountain to climb...
We started with Priority no. 1 - food. We needed to find ways to get those calories down, with a restrictive, soft diet, whilst avoiding the pain that this caused with the stent, in the initial stages of recovery. It was really important to keep the pain levels down so that M did not reject food. So we got some advice about this from the GI nurse and GP and followed a round-the-clock pain-relief routine. I got creative with fresh soups and shakes but I also started introducing more solid items eg mashed potato, skinless sausages, scrambled eggs to build up his confidence again. To begin with he had zero appetite, but we persevered. I found that snacks eg quavers, maltesers were good to have in small bowls in the lounge and kitchen to encourage interest in snacking. After 2 weeks, we were able to go to our favourite cafe where he ordered a cooked brekkie of sausages and fried eggs and ate the lot and enjoyed it! It was something of a break-through. By then, the pain had reduced and we were able to reduce the pain-relief accordingly
Priority no. 2 was to have short-term goals. You have to have things to focus on, even if they seem out of reach at the time. Our first goal was to attend the christening of our great-nephew one week after M got home from hospital. No-one expected us to make it (especially as it was a long drive), but we did. It was uplifting and special and although I was apprehensive about the journey and staying over in a hotel, I knew we were doing the right thing by pulling out the stops to get there. Such occasions are meaningful and give us the reason why we're even here. Family members were all there and rooting for him and for me. The buffet afterwards was quite challenging and I had brought some 'back-up' food but M was able to find a few things like melon pieces, miniature scotch eggs and 'pink panther' wafer biscuits that he could eat, so he took part in that too.
The next goal was our holiday, which we had planned months ago - due to begin the following week. One week on the Northumbrian coast and the second in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. M was still struggling with general aches and pains following the difficult hospital stay and a lack of energy. It seemed impossible and maybe unwise to attempt this. But his health professionals encouraged it and we decided to focus the entire stay on Rest and Recuperation. We would take things slowly and use the fortnight to build up M's strength again in preparation for the next bout of chemo.
So here, we are, in beautiful Northumberland staying in a very comfortable, quiet cottage on a farm, with views across arable fields to the sea. We have our dog, Zoe with us and we are going on outings every day in the fresh air and restorative scenery. We even managed a boat trip to the Farne Islands and Holy Island. There is something spiritual about these places and we are soaking it in. M is frustrated that he can't walk very far - but I would say that walking 2.5 miles, after what he has been through and having only been out of hospital for just over 2 weeks, is amazing!
People talk about 'taking each day at a time' and its a bit of a cliche. But at the moment, trying to get as much as possible out of each day, whilst allowing time for rest and recovery, is working. My photographs are testimony to the fact that we are still living our lives to the full - with a few changes in place. Plan A sometimes becomes Plan B or C. Sometimes we order M's food from the kiddies menu in restaurants. They are great! There are ways around things. We are learning what 'living with cancer' really means. It's a tough road, it is up and down, sometimes without reason, but it's not a brick wall. We are bouncing back!
