As I write this, my darling is asleep on the sofa. Have spent a lot of time watching him sleep this last week - he caught me doing it the other day and told me it freaked him out!
Not sure how I'm feeling at the moment - tired for sure. Have bought an airbed so we can sleep in the same room still, but at the moment he needs space and room to get comfortable in the double bed.
'We' got discharged from hospital on Tuesday, following an appointment with the head honcho at the oncology unit. It didn't really tell us anything new, but put a slightly more positive spin on things - talked about reducing pain, lots of different options to try and suggested a way of living with this thing.
One thing that has been overwhelming is the response from our friends and family. All wanting to do something and get updates. He wants to spend some time readjusting before reconnecting, which I think is a good idea. Most people have been amazing. It's clear that some just don't know what to say - one friend seemed surprised that I've been having trouble sleeping, and did a sad face in an email. That was a bit annoying.
I'm off work next week, and we have our first appointment at oncology on Wednesday so that's something to focuson. It's so difficult seeing someone you love so much being in pain and not being able to do anything. After next week I'm not sure what to do. I can't see how I can continue with work as before. I have a new role as carer now. At the same time, I don't think giving up work is a good move for me or for us.
The MacMillan website has been amazing for me. For the information, the support from people who have responded to me and just for a place to go to try and make sense of this situation. Not that there is any sense in it mind, but you know what I mean.
