The examination with the breast surgeon took about 15 mins, the mammogram even less. Half an hour later a call, your mammogram is clear, and I exhaled the breath I hadn't realised I was holding. The annual check brings everything very much to mind again, and my lumpy bumpy lymphoedema boob means it's really quite difficult to judge the difference between something sinister and the swelling that seems to be insistent on staying with me.
I have come to realise the underlying anxiety never really goes away. You mask it, keep busy, put it to one side, but then you read something, hear of another person's diagnosis and that's the trigger, the fear creeps back in, like an annoying fly that buzzes around and doesn't go away.
But we are very lucky these days. Modern medicine means many many more of us have successful treatment or learn to live with cancer, or the threat of a return. Not so long ago we wouldn't have been so fortunate and I am thankful for that for sure. So it's back to normal for a while, until the next round of treatment and check up.
PS. My second thought, after the relief that all's ok health wise was a thankfulness that I don't have to reorganise the hectic travel schedule I have for work in the next few weeks 
