My husband has advanced sarcoma cancer. He is managing to work still, but is obviously finding that more and more difficult, but it is to his credit that he still carries on as though things were normal.
Last week he started new chemo No. 5, as the previous four had not helped stop the growth or spread of the tumour in his abdomen.
My difficulty is this: whenever he has symptoms which could be attributed to the cancer, he goes into denial, and through his own diagnoses decides it is something entirely unrelated. One good example (although there are others), he has a very large swelling in his groin - he has decided it is a hernia, as his late father had two and it is like other hernias friends have had. When I urged him to see the Prof of at least the Macmillan nurse to have a look at it, he got incredibly cross, insinuating that I always look on the black side of things, and that his appointment in a week's time is soon enough to discuss it with the medical team.
I hope against hope that this new swelling is nothing sinister, but if he were a normally healthy man for his age, I would not be concerned, but he has cancer, and to eliminate any connection and act swiftly in case it is cancer related, it makes sense to me to get it looked at quickly.
This is not the only occasion he has done or said something like this, and although I truly do understand his concerns, and God knows what I would do in his place, it is getting harder and harder for me and our family to cope in the face of his denial and at times aggression. I am getting tired and weepy, because we have both been told the team are running out of options to treat the cancer, but I am careful not to show emotions in front of him. He on the other hand is almost resentful of my opinions, even though he seeks them, and I am getting to the point where I am chasing my tail trying to placate him but at the same time, make sure he is not ignoring what could be important symptoms.
I am so tired, and I would greatly appreciate some advice.
