I am just writing this down to get it off my chest? Yes I do still have half of one. Anyway I don't expect anyone to read this as it really is a feel sorry for myself blog and I am sitting here so confused I thought I would write it down - of course, if you've got nothing else to do but read my confusion, thank you. As you know from previous blogs I have been suffering from very bad back pain and knee pain since recovering from my breast cancer treatment - also have rather large left arm lymphodema. Well, I want reconstruction/tummy tuck (DIEP) because I want my life back? So, some weeks ago went to see GP re my chest pain which I thought was to do with rad I had which damaged my lung - sent straight to Hospital A&E. I must say I didn't have to wait around which was fab. Cardios admitted me, did all the tests - nothing. So, after few days rest on new medication for blood pressure and clopidogrel to help keep blood thin - plus spray for under my tongue in case pain came back I was fully armed. Next appt. was for angiogram in 4 weeks - had it, was rolled onto bed and told had 90% arterial blockage and needed stent put in next day. I am now being treated for angina, the result of which I can't take my diclofenac which kicks in when my arthritis gets out of control. So, am sitting in my chair at 51 feeling more like 81 as the heart drugs make me feel like crap so have stopped taking one of them and my back, knee, left arm are in a great mess. Where the hell do I go from here? All I wanted was a boob recon and am now in a limbo state of pain that doesn't go even with tramadol, cocodamol, amytriptiline, prozac, sleeping tabs as back kills at night. I sincerely feel if this is living I would rather give up, go down the pub, and drink myself silly every day to end things. That's it, rant done. Going to sit in the garden now and contemplate a bath.
