One year after end of Herceptin!!!! - breast cancer group

2 minute read time.

FormerMember

16 Mar 2010

First of all, I have'nt been around for a long time, but I have been reading your blogs and am amazed by your strengths - I know, you probably don't feel strong but, I can assure you, you are! YOU WILL GET THROUGH this.

My year of Herceptin finished last March 2009. At first I thought, right lets get life back together - lose weight, get fit, do more, clean house (about time) - be me once again after the last few years of fighting cancer. Seemed like a good idea at the time but one year on I feel like s..t. I'm still fat (11stone), still tired all the time, still taking copious amounts of painkillers for joint pain. Still reliant on sleeping pills as have lots of pain in bed and, to top it all, I look like s..t. When I read the breast cancer forum I'm humbled by everyone's determination. Does anyone feel like me though, especially after cancer treatment one year on. (Although I couldn't have my FEC/Docetaxol as I caught infection and by time I got reasonable health, it was too late to start again so the one does I did have which took my hair, put me in mentalpause and gave me diarrea had no effect on the grade 3 cancer). I managed the radio though but got pneumanitis and bad burn to my left breast area which is now flat and devoid of any form of boob other than a flap. I know I'm going on but does anyone out there feel like they are climing a mounting each day, living with joint pain, hot sweats, tiredness, forgetfullness? I should be living the dream now and cherishing my life so why do I feel like s..t. There must be something I could do. What a moan. Anyway, is there anyone on the breast cancer forum who feels like this after cancer. Or, if anyone has sadly had recurrence or mets what where their symptons before their diagnosis and how do they climb their mountain each day?

Also how do they live with their lymphodema - I've given up wearing my arm sleeve as it makes my left shoulder hurt and I get sudden stabbing pains in my left chest area - my arm is like a balloon but at least my shoulder doesn't hurt and my chest area gets left alone.

I would live to learn of anyone who is getting on with it, or not and how they deal with their symptons post cancer. Do we every really feel ourselves again?

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Dear Nutcracker,

My Mum has gone through a similar time. She had a HER2 tumor removed in December 08. Jan 09 they found 2 small tumors on her liver. She had 6 months ACTH (chemotherapy) and has been on herceptin for a year too. She had a scan in December and was given the all clear, albeit with the warning that she would need chemo again at some point. She has been extremely depressed since the chemo ended last Summer. She finds it hard to sleep and has been given sleeping tablets. She is 68, and apparently, it is really unusual to get HER2 type breast cancer at that age. She hates talking to people about her cancer, and really bottles it all up. This is not helping her at all. She has a very sore tongue and some blisters on her gums. She has nerve damage at the tips of her fingers and toes. The skin really cracked badly there during chemo. I wish she would join this site, but she can't. She just can't. I can really really understand how you feel. She tells me that she had so hoped that once chemo ended, she would be free again. But going to hospital every 3 weeks for her herceptin seems a real burden. She says she dreads going there, it just seems to always remind her of the illness. She is having another CT scan and MRI next week. She suffers from incredible claustrophobia, so as you can imagine, this is a nightmare for her. Not sure what to add but all I can say is, I wish I could give you a tip on how to deal with this, but you are not alone. Mum is really suffering too, although she feels she should be so relieved.

with my best wishes to you,

lal
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

just wanted to say(((((((((((((((((big hugs)))))))))))))))))) sounds like you have had such a hard time.. i am lucky enough that after i finished my 8 fec 100, it only took about 6 months before i started to feel reasonably "normal" ..about the mets... i was unlucky enough to get it in my liver and hip and tamoxifen gave me it in my uterus... i think after i got b.c in 99.... i put it to the back of my mind.. to such an extent that it came as a total shock to find it had spread 9 years later... well so did the doc to be honest... but i mush say i had a blissfully oblivious 9 years... which is in one way good... but in another way i ask mtself if they had found it earlier would i still be terminal... or would i have just had longer to worry about it....lol... such a dilema lol... still i am lucky enough to have very little pain now... and its the pain that wears you down... my mum has lymphodema... and she still has physio after 10 years from dx...

its hard to "forget" and get on with it when you are in pain.....my familiy jokingly call me g.i.jane cos i refuse to let cancer spoil my life but its not cos i am brave or any stronger than anyone else... its just i WANT to be normal... normal is sooooooo good and we dont apreciate it until we dont have it....so... my advice to you is.... try to be you... the REAL you... and dont let cancer make you lose yourself...

good luck stay strong...

liz xxxxx

COURAGE......IS WHEN YOUR SCARED TO DEATH......BUT YOU SADDLE UP ANYWAY
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

hi nutcracker

i had bc in 2002 had a lumpectomy and Rt as stage1 grade 1 thought that the end of that I got lymphodema and have a sleeve that i wear in the summer or wen it gets bigger. In 2006 i got mets to the lungs. Ive had 2 lots of chemo in 2006 n 2007. At 47 in 2007 i took medical retirement hence the name lady of leisure. I take exemestane which at present is keeping it from growing or spreading I have a ct scan in may as an enzyme is raised in my liver.What keeps me gowing is my daughter aged 12 and enjoying everyday. Howver i am a grumpy old cow at times i cant seem to help my self i take citalopram to keep me from being even worse . I have a mad friend who keeps me sane and as normal as i can get thank god. I talk about my cancer to my friends who keep me positive, thats it really Apart from allways worrying about it speading and me dying and who wud be there 4 my little girl

love lady
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

dear lal, lizzie g. and lady of leisure,

I am so grateful to you for responding to my moans. I should be jumping up and down to be here today, I know. It would be nice to hear from your mum, lal, and maybe she would be able to participate if perhaps you could sign her up and let her have a glance, by chance, one day. I hope so as without Cbackup I don't know what I would have done these last few years. Afterall, no matter how much friends and family love and rally round, the people on this site know how we feel as they feel the same and we can truly express ourselves, instead of making the best of it. Thank you for expressing yourselves and your thoughts to me/this site and for all those who are not here today because of ca. I shall make the very best of my situation and keep trying to be normal, just like lizzieg. God bless.

I've just read Kezzerbird's blog and feel quite sad as she's always been an inspiration to me with her tremendous spirit - my thoughts are with you kezzerbird and I wish you strength to get through this sh...y time!
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