My husband Martin has been suffering with cancer since December 2007. He initially was diagnosed with oesophegeal cancer, had chemo, major surgery, chemo again and then after scans we were told it has spread to his liver, lung and bone. He has now been on chemo again (almost 16 months so far) recently via a Hickman line. The doctors have now taken him off chemo as it really is making him so weak he can hardly walk.
We are now waiting for a nother CT scan on the 27 May and final result on the 8 June. We are at rock bottom just now, hoping for good news!!! I am ever hopeful and realise that so many people survive all sorts of really bad problems and we are hoping we will be lucky.
Today I just feel particularly desperate and heartbroken, but I will rally eventually. Just thought writing about it might help me to deal with another day and keep upbeat and happy for my darling husband. He tries so hard and worries about me too. Oh dear, so many of us suffering day by day. I think of you all too and my prayers are with you. Godbless.
I'm so sorry you are feeling down today. You're right - writing down your feelings can be very therapeutic. It seems you've been dealing with this for so long and you probably feel worn down by the constant roller-coaster of emotions. Treat yourself and your dear husband to something nice (although I suppose champagne is out of the question!) and give him a cuddle.
