Well the day came upon me and it was the most awful of days. Everything I had read to prepare me for the eventual end of my dear father's life did not prepare me for what I saw.
I was twenty minutes late and sadly was not with him when God called for him. I hate myself for this. I cant begin to understand or even get over the fact that he is now gone and I'll never see him again. This is what hurts the most.
I loved him so dearly and feel very empty inside. I know people tell me that he is now at rest and has not to suffer any more, but I am finding it difficult to come to terms with.
I've never felt grief before, maybe apart from my animals when I have had to put them to sleep, but nothing of this magnitude or connection. I'm struggling with it. I still really cant believe he is gone, that his life is now ended and I cant get him back.
Can anyone help me to understand how to cope with this..... please.
So so sad,
Laura
