It's a while since I wrote one of these. If i looked back, I would see how I've changed, how things have changed.
In an effort to get through the winter months early in bereavement, I decided to start piano lessons again after far too many years. The lessons became something I did each week and gave me something to work on at home when I was on my own. Time has passed. I recall trudging through thick snow to get to one or two lessons, wearing thick ski mitts to try and keep my fingers warm so they would work properly - always a bit of a problem in the cold. And then the promise of spring......... some of the pieces started to improve and my fingers were getting a bit better on the keyboards with work and application. And one of the Bach pieces even sounded ok in places!!! And more recently, the heat has at least allowed my hands to move as well as they ever will..........
Seasons change. Time passes.
But I had the good fortune to find a teacher who inspired me, who gave me so much more than just a lesson to help me play a particular piano piece. We talked about music, about composers and she would suggest I go away and look up things. Off I'd go, lost in a world I'd never had a chance to explore so much before. It's been truly wonderful. And all the time, it has kept me focused - well as focused as I can ever be. At times, the playing has mirrored how I've been feeling and I've had to stop playing some things because they reached where it was too painful. And now I start to learn to take myself out of that pain zone and try to still work on the performance alone.
And so Life moves on.........
And now, this week, my lovely teacher is giving me my last lesson because she and her family must move to the States. And I hate, loathe, detest Good-Byes. You will know why. Good-Byes are always going to be hard because I have said the ultimate Good-Bye to someone who mattered to me more than I could ever have known until he left......... So Good-Byes are an issue. And to say Good-Bye to this special teacher, well, it is not something I want to do.
We hate change. Especially when we have lived through a period when things changed from day to day, so rapidly we didn't know where we were or how we could manage. But then Life changes like that, too, maybe not so rapidly and in such a topsy-turvy, rollercoaster way. But Life changes... Nothing is certain....... We can never know what is ahead or what tomorrow will bring.
And so, I must accept that when I needed it most, I was handed a lifeline. Someone came into my life to help me and I shall be grateful for that and for the experience and see what presents itself next. And say Au Revoir to my lovely teacher and hope we will keep in touch.
Times change. Nothing is for ever. Life moves on. And we can only work with what is handed to us each day and try to make the best of that day. That is all.
Little Jen
