I've lost count now of the number of weeks we've all been waiting for a REAl diagnosis for dad-in-law. He's had test after test after test: but still no actual treatment. Maybe at 97 there isn't any.
He still won't eat more than the tiniest quantities. He's lost so much weight, he looks like someone from a concentration camp. It really is pitiful to see. He is terribly weak and can't get out of his chair unless someone does it for him. His carers come to get him up in the morning so he can sit in his chair and stare into space...
His sons & daughter are determined to keep him in his house. No diagnosis other than the prostate cancer we already knew about (which is being treated with hormone tablets) means, I guess, a hospice isn't a possibility. Other son (not my husband) seems to have accepted that his dad is very ill, very frail and dying. My husband appears to believe he can recover. I don't know what to say to him. It seems so, so unlikely.
My husband of course had tonsil cancer in 2009 but doesn't like to remember that horrible time. Neither do I but this and my dad's death in November last year keeps on & keeps on reminding me.
It's a miserable situation and I feel very guilty for just wanting it to be over but that would mean my husband would be bereaved of his beloved old dad whom he idolises.
Dad-in-law keeps seeming as if he really is dying but then rallying slightly. The latest idea from his GP is to give him steroids after each 'meal' to try to stimulate his non-existent apppetite. He says he never feels hungry.
I do my best to support my husband. I can't actually help the awful situation though. Dad-in-law is being looked after by 5 lots of carers and his sons & daughter but the family can't be there 24/7 and what happens if he passes away when there's nobody there?
It seems to me he would be better off in a care home or ideally a hospice but it isn't up to me.
Any advice, anybody????
Thank you.
