GLOOM

1 minute read time.

It was quite a good day, for a Monday. It rained, of course, but I didn't collide with any deer on my way to work, didn't get held up in roadworks or stuck behind a tractor.

When I got home, J was still out at his dad's but was back in time for tea.

Today's alarming news was that my stepdaughter's dog had had a fit this morning, and her partner had been bitten when trying to stop the dog choking on its tongue. The dog, apparently, has recovered and their vet has told them to monitor him... We are meaant to be babysitting said dog at the weekend when they go off to Greece for a last 'couple' holiday before the baby arrives in August. I HOPE the dog is all right. Already I have nightmare scenarios in my head of how to break bad news to them on their return.

J and his siblings are edging closer to the Care Home option for their father as the only realistic course of action. He (dad-in-law) is drifting further and further away from the person he used to be and is physically wasting away.

On Thursday, J has agreed to attend a meeting at our local hospital, organised, I think, by Macmillan, as a sort of support group for people who have had his sort of cancer (tonsil/throat). I wasn't sure if he would feel up to that, as he rarely talks about his experiences from 2009, which sadly coincided with his elderly mum's death from  liver cancer. A hard, hard time for my lovely, uncomplaining J.

To my surprise, we had a long chat about all that this evening: quite a good thing, I think, and I feel more able to talk & to support him since being on this site and meeting such fantastic people.

So that was all good.

Then my  mother rang: J answered and chatted for ages then when I spoke to her, she hung up on me!  I said I had been upstairs doing stuff: oh, you didn't think to phone your poor old mother, says she, and when I wasn't fast enough to make a convincing response, she hung up...

So now I feel crap again, even though I don't THINK I've done anything wrong.

 

 

 

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi,

    sorry this is late, didn't go on my laptop yesterday so just read your blog.

    I don't get on so well with my mother either, she knows which buttons to push and can wind me up quicker than anyone else on earth!  She has this amazing knack of being completely unreasonable but still able to make me feel like i've done something wrong!! Ring any bells?! Lol. I wonder if they did some degree at school in being an evil old witch? (Oh i'm going to hell for that remark!!)

    I'm finding it really hard at the moment with her being ill and very needy and i have to actively think of ways to be supportive instead of automatically responding to her need - cos she does my bloody head in!!! (I'm definately going to hell now! Hehe).

    Like you though, I've tried to remember how distructive and upsetting she was and not repeat it with my daughter (every cloud....).

    It's good about the long chat you were able to have with your hubby and fingers crossed about the dog, it may be an idea to have the vets number on speed dial, hehe.

    Sending you big hugs,

    Ali xxx

  • Hi Sue I have to agree your mum sounds like a selfish cow.I had the opposite my dad was the one who would knock you down.The damage some parents do to their children.The good thing to come out of all the crap they try to put on you is that it makes you determind not to do the same to your own children and be a better parent.Strange how you revert to being a child when they start being nasty towards you and you put up with what you would never put up with from anyone else.If you where not related to them you wouldn't have anything to do with them.I think it was Ellenor Roosevelt pardon my spelling who said no one can make you feel inferior without your consent do not give her your consent easier said than done I know and perhaps when you put that phone down that's you cutting her off so you don't take her words away with you otherwise she is hanging around like an unwelcome guest eating into the time you have with those who do love and care about you.I wish there was an easier answer.It's good that you and J managed to talk.My dog has fits usually one every three months the vet said just monitor him if they happened weekly then they would give him medication.When it happens it can be scary but he always comes out of them like nothing has happened and none the worse whilst we are all worried.Sending you huge hugs Cruton xxxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Sue

    You have to remember one thing, you are doing your best for everybody, if other people dont like it, that is their problem!!! 

    Sending you a very BIG HUG

    Respect

    xxxxx

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    P.S I am a recently widowed mother, grandmother and stepmother. Not old enough to be your mum though, but am around if you need an ear!

    Respect xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thank you, everybody.

    xxx