Feel like a fraud and not sure what is going on!

Hi, firstly, you are not a fraud for a start and the waiting and worrying are the worst of all. And of course you will be confused and your head all over the place! we have all been there, done that.. screaming psycho worries etc. I don't know anything about sarcomas I'm afraid...

All i can say to you is that worrying about it won't change anything. What will be will be and whatever it is, you will deal with it bacause you are strong and because you have to! And actually for me the pre-knowing worry and waiting and worse than the event in the end. Of course its a bit hard being on here, cos all of us are here cos we were told it was cancer, so you will get a skewed view of things. There are plenty of other people not here who would say, oh yeah,  I had one of them and it was nothing....

I don't think there is anything that really helps and it depends on your temperament as well. I found distraction the best technique to stop me thinking about it and also thinking, well if it is cancer I'll deal with it, and if I am going to die, then it will be ok and I'd better make the most of my time now, cos how rubbish would that be if I was going to and I'd wasted all that time just worrying! So, yes it was cancer and it wasn't the end of the world and yes, they thought I might well die quite soon, but then decided I should be ok after 6 months of checking (and waiting to see how my liver was) and here I am out the other side... a bit battered and bruised but out the other side all the same and I have laughed a lot and met some amazing people along the way and a lot of positives have come out of it too... . And if it is cancer, you'll do the same and you'll be ok and we will be here to hold your hand.

Not sure that is of any help, but if it isn't cancer, then you wasted a month worrying about nothing, and if it is cancer, then don't waste fun healthy times with worry. Though of course, nothing I say will stop you worrying cos that's what we do...

Sorry, I ramble for a living.... Just really wanted to send you a hug and perhaps suggest you phone them  up or go and see your gp and ask them why you've got the appointment. Better than waiting ages.

Try and have some distraction of fun tonight and i will be crossing things that its just a fatty lump.

Hugs

Little My x

Hi, Little My is so right and says these things so well. Waiting is the most dreadful time and hearing certain words is very frightening. I have found meditation and visualisations helped me a lot and still do. So did sleeping tablets for a week at least, which I took because I couldn't switch my mind off at night and lack of sleep was killing me.  It's funny but after the intial fear wore off and I was able to sleep at night  I became quite calm about everything, and yes for me it was also cancer (womb cancer in my case) and a particularly agressive sort. But we all do what needs to be done and get on with life as best we can. You're not a fraud, you have genuinely got something that you're worrying about, if it turns out ok that doesn;t mean you chouldn;t have worried... you're only human.

Frannie

Hi Sara,

Yes the posts above have said it all. We all worry whilst we're waiting for tests and appointments. I recently had an appointment  where I had previously been assured that there was nothing to worry about, and as I sat in the waiting room, (they were running an hour late) I found myself shaking. Fortunately I was lucky and it all went according to plan.

I'll say don't worry as the others have said, but I know it won't make any difference, so have some hugs from me instead.

I hope it's good news, but even if it isn't come back here often for support. We'll be waiting for you,

Colin xxx

Hi there

I can only echo what the wise folk above are saying.

This is always an awful time and as already said, the waiting game is often the worst part as you are pretty much rendered useless and stuck in the mud.

This time of year is a really tough time to be going through the mire. I keep hearing my family say how glad they are to be rid of 2011 and I feel guilty knowing that I may well have bad news ahead and may need further treatment( That said my Parents were very annoyed and upset that I hadn't told them from the word go. This has caused a big rift, but mine are are funny lot..... They still refuse to accept that I was trying to protect them and clearly do not respect thatI need to do this MY WAY.

I am hoping you have a loving and supportive family and that you find the courage to tell them soon, maybe before your appointment?

All I can say is that I understand the roller coaster of emotions you will be experiencing and this site is bloody marvellous. It is so fabulous how people all just come together to support each other with empathy and love. I often read about other peoples experiences and realise how (almost) fortunate I am.

Try to look after yourself and just go with your emotions, I found it really therapuetic to go with the flow and am feeling stronger as a result of this.

Lots of hugs....

xx

Hi all :) 

Thank you for your lovely supportive comments, it is an emotional rollercoaster at the moment but coming on this site really helps and decided to just try push it all from my mind until my appointment at the end of January (I am also trying to convince myself that if it was that bad they wouldn't make me wait another 4 weeks surely?????????.........) I know I am a strong person and will deal with whatever is thrown at  me- I have had wobbles over the last few days but am now feeling ready for a fight with whatever it is!

I know my family will be ridiculously supportive when I  tell them what could be  going on but to be honest I want time to prepare myself for it before having to deal with their emotions as well (selfish- I don't care :)

New Year has been a bit tough with family saying things like 'I always find new year so positive and we all have good health what more can we hope for......' but I have just gone with the  flow so far and guess thats all I can do for now!

Anyhow- hope you all have a good start to the new year and are feeling happy & healthy and full of strength!

Take care,

Sara